Warning: The article contains graphic accounts of rape and sexual violence
An Israeli man who survived Hamas’ massacre at the Nova music festival on October 7 recounted how the terror group’s Nukhba force terrorists raped him to the Daily Mail on Sunday. “I was a Jewish doll to them, to do whatever they wanted,” D., who asked to remain anonymous, told the UK-based outlet.
D., a former tennis coach, recounted the harrowing experience he endured on the day of the massacre and described how it left him feeling "dirty with shame." "My friend and I arrived at the Nova Festival Friday night around midnight, which was truly a very special party," he recalled.
"At the beginning, there was a unique atmosphere, distinctive music, and interesting people. During the first few hours of the party, we thoroughly enjoyed everything that was happening," he described. However, things quickly took a terrifying turn as thousands of Hamas terrorists infiltrated Israel.
"At 6:30 in the morning, when the chaos of gunfire and everything else began, we initially thought it was just sirens," D. recalled. "We were certain it was incoming rockets, something we could handle by entering a shelter. At some point, we realized it was actually a terrorist infiltration."
When he understood terrorists had also infiltrated the party, D, said he had a panic attack. "It's like all the demons come out at that moment, you become very tense and you suddenly enter survival mode.”
Shortly after he began running away, D. was caught by Nukhba terrorists. "Out of nowhere, they pounced on me. I mean, not out of nowhere - you do know it's happening, but until that moment it seemed very distant to me. When it happened and you get hit, you go into a very, very big shock, and because I was in such shock, it was hard for me to resist," he said.
He was surrounded by terrorists dressed in military uniforms within moments. "One of them was their commander, I think he was their leader. They addressed him according to his bandana," he recalled.
D. demonstrated to the Daily Mail’s reporter how the terrorists pinned his body and head to the ground. "In that moment, you feel a sort of disconnection from your body. At first, you try to resist, but after a while, at some point, you surrender to the situation. You enter this incredibly difficult mental state within yourself,"
'At that moment, I am their Jewish doll'
After that, he recalled, the terrorists sexually assaulted and raped him. "They took my clothes off. They start to like (makes spit noise) on my head. They spoke Arabic. I know Arabic because I served in national service. I could hear them say Yahood (the Arabic word for Jew), and all these words.”
“They choked me very hard when they pressed my head to the ground and then they forcibly removed my clothes. And they were laughing about the situation. It sounds crazy. But if you looked around them, you see they enjoyed the situation,” he added.
He recounted how he asked them to stop, but "you don't have a person to talk to, they do not listen to you." He added that from then "I am like a doll to them. At that moment, I am their Jewish doll. That is what I am supposed to do, to them, to do whatever they want to me.”
According to him, five Nukhba terrorists were present. "Two were directly involved in holding me down during the assault. There was spitting, screaming, laughter - impossible things. In that moment, you feel torn between wanting to scream and maintaining a kind of silence.”
After the rape, D. said he saw people being kidnapped into cars. "Their commander was there, and I was supposed to stay with someone in the same place. He left for some reason, and I didn't dare move because of everything that had happened. But at some point, he disappeared. They had various people calling for them and things they were discussing." D. said that in a state of exhaustion, he hid in the festival’s stage area until rescue forces arrived.
'Because of all the trauma you freeze'
"When people came to rescue us, at first, I didn't know there were other people there, but when I saw people coming out of that area, I realized there were people alive there, people speaking Hebrew. I don't remember exactly what they said in Hebrew, but there are things you understand when an Israeli is speaking, by the spirit of how they talk, and it's funny because that is what calmed me at that moment, what gave me the confidence to go with them,” he said.
D. recalled how he rushed for a police patrol car when forces began arriving. He managed to get his jeans back, but those were the only clothes he had left until the officers gave him a jacket from their vehicle.
"At the beginning because of all the trauma of this situation you freeze," he described his feelings during the horrific experience. "You feel terrible because you don't have control over what is happening, and I asked God to help me so I said the (Jewish Prayer) ‘Shema Israel’ and we want it to be the end."
He added the horrors he saw during his escape will haunt him forever. " We saw a lot of people die. They cut their legs, they cut them, amputated people. A lot of dead bodies on the ground with a lot of blood." He described the journey back as a "blur of absolute fear," and said it took him a long time to process what he saw.
D. shared he’s still dealing with what happened to him. " There are stages where you feel it very, very strongly, where you feel disconnected, and there are stages where it rises up. These days, I often shower many times to wash away the energy of everything that happened.”
'I still have horrible nightmares'
He added he didn't want to share what happened to him with anyone and thought he would never talk about the rape. " Even today I am ashamed of it, but at that moment I felt such shame, like something in me was damaged at that moment."
After the attack, he secluded himself in a hotel room and didn't go out much. "I am a tennis coach. I was ranked in Israel. But After Nova I was like 20 kilograms heavier because of the situation," he said - and shared he eventually confided in a close friend about what happened to him. "I couldn't believe I told him, but when I did, it was the right thing to do. He said: "You can't erase what happened but you need to talk about it."
Despite beginning to share what he went through, D. said October 7 still haunts him. "I still have horrible nightmares. I don't sleep. I need a lot of time to have a shower. Because I feel dirty."