More than 30 days have passed since the Neutra family was informed of the devastating loss of their son, Captain Omer Neutra, 22, an IDF officer who was killed in action on October 7. Despite the news, Omer remains among the 100 hostages held by Hamas in Gaza.
Omer’s parents, Orna and Ronen, launched a global campaign for his release, meeting with leaders in Israel, the U.S. and beyond, while sharing messages of hope for their son. The chief military rabbi confirmed Omer’s death after reviewing evidence from the attack.
Interview with the parents of Omer Neutra, Ronen and Orna
(Video: Miki Shmidt )
Born and raised in Long Island, NY, Omer moved to Israel as a lone soldier to enlist in the IDF, where he served as a tank commander.
On October 7, he and his tank crew—Nimrod Cohen, Shaked Dahan and Oz Daniel—were abducted during the massacre. A haunting image of their burning tank, surrounded by cheering terrorists, became a grim symbol of that day. Nimrod Cohen is also believed to be in Gaza.
"For 422 days, we were fighting for Omer's life. We did not have a day or a night, sleepless nights, and our days were filled with meetings, travel, rallies and doing everything that we could that we felt was in our power to bring Omer back," said Omer's father Ronen.
"When they notified us that he was killed on October 7, that was devastating. And he's not back yet. We still have to fight to bring him back and the State of Israel owes it to him to bring him back for proper burial with the respect that he deserves. He didn't have to do what he chose to do. He volunteered to be a protector because those were his values. And the fact that he's not back means that we still need to fight. We don't have the hope anymore to see him alive, but we owe it to him to bring him back."
How do you hold a shiva without a body?
"We were in shock. You want to run away from this news, you really don't want to deal with it, and you have to," said Orna. "In this crazy reality, outwardly, nothing has changed. They haven't brought Omer back. Omer is still in an unknown place in Gaza. we don't have him. There's no grave, no funeral, what do you do?"
"We made a decision that we would hold a shiva but we will continue to fight. We decided to split the shiva and do it in both New York and Israel. In the past year, since we received the news that Omer had been kidnapped, we have waged a very intense struggle, and in our path in this struggle, the entire Jewish American community and other communities have rallied around us, and they have basically asked us to hold a shiva in New York as well, because so many people want to come and comfort you," she added.
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Thousands of people turned out to console the grieving parents. "We decided to sit in a synagogue, in the community center," says Ronen. "We arrived on the first day and were in shock. At the entrance, hundreds of police officers and cavalry were waiting, similar to a procession of a fallen U.S. service member or police officer. The flag was lowered to half-mast, the governor came and sat with us. There was a minute of silence in Congress, and hundreds of people every day stood in long lines just waiting to come and shake our hands, to offer us 30 seconds of comfort.
"We realized that Omer is no longer just our child, he is a kind of symbol of the sacrifice and support of the Jewish community in Israel, the love for Israel, the sacrifice and heroism that Omer showed, and the symbolism that he transformed over these months into our struggle. We felt that we gave the community a place to show the pain and grief, the open wound that the hostages represent for the entire Jewish people, both in Israel and abroad."
Neutra, raised in New York and steeped in the values of the Conservative Jewish movement, was driven by deep Zionist convictions to make Israel his home. After completing a preparatory program, he remained in Israel, joining the IDF and serving as a soldier and commander in the Armored Corps.
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Former Prime Minister Naftali Bennett at Omer Nautra's shiva
(Photo: Courtesy of the family)
"Omer is a very sociable person," according to Orna. "During the shiva and throughout this period, people told us how he influenced them, and their lives, how he changed them. He also did for Israel. He would speak about the country with true, deep love. He would say, 'Let me talk about my friend, Israel.'"
"Our son did not have to enlist," Ronen continued. "He did it out of pure Zionism, out of love for Israel and out of adherence to the values of mutual responsibility. The entire Jewish community in the United States is crying over Omer and everything that is happening in the country, all in solidarity. This wound of the hostages must be healed. And the way to heal it is for everyone to return, in the announcement that we have reached the end of the war, to move on. To rehabilitate society, to form a real commission of inquiry, to draw conclusions and make corrections.
"We still haven't received a serious investigation into what happened in our son's tank. It was only a few weeks ago that we heard the communication tape. We heard our son calling for help, asking them to come and rescue his soldier, who was killed there, and help didn't come. The crew was suffocating, Omer asked them to breathe through the air vents, while he continued to beg for help. And 15 months later, we are still fighting to bring him home."
The Israeli American Neutra family is waging their battle on two fronts, appealing to leadership in both Israel and the United States.
"We've actually been seeing this all year, at various points while we've met with ministers or the prime minister himself," Orna says. "The messages we're getting are that the conditions are not ripe for a deal, that there's more work to be done, that the IDF needs more achievements, and I think we've been through a lot in these 15 months, and the IDF has achieved a lot. And the reality has changed, and they're still not here. When Trump was elected, we thought there was momentum, and time was passing, and it's not happening. It's worrying, it's frustrating. The sense of urgency is that everything should have happened a long time ago, but nothing has happened yet.
"We are part of a struggle and part of a story. And it is completely clear to us that we have a role, we understood this from day one, that keeping the issue of the hostages in the United States in the apolitical discourse is perhaps one of the only issues that unites Democrats and Republicans. When President Trump was elected, we realized that we needed to push for the issue of the hostages not to wait until he took office, but for the teams to work on it together in advance.
"There was actually a meeting with Trump and President Biden, we met a few hours later with President Biden at the White House and he updated us on things. At the first candle of Hanukkah, we met with Netanyahu, and we decided to support him. To bring the public's pain that we felt in the shiva, and to tell him that it is time. They say that the conditions have ripened, will ripen, are ripening. Do you know what happens to fruit that ripens too much? He is falling."
"It is worrying, because it could very well be that some of the living abductees will not return alive, and some of the dead will not return to their families and will not have a burial in the Land of Israel, and that scares us," Omer's father concluded.
"Very much. So if the conditions are ripe - the time to act is now. It is not entirely clear how this will affect society going forward. I think the community we come from understands this well, I think most Israelis understand this, and still the Israeli government is taking its time."