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Ofri Bibas Levy was at a meeting when the IDF officer assigned to assist the family called her. It happened on Friday, on the afternoon of January 31, and he cautiously alerted her that an unofficial list was circulating online with the names of the hostages expected to be released the next day, including the name of her younger brother, Yarden Bibas. An hour of rapid heartbeats passed before the phone rang again. It was the officer, and this time he announced to her: “Yarden is on the list. He’s coming home.”
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Yarden Bibas with his family in Sheba Medical Center
(Video: Omer Meron, GPO)
The first thing she did was tell her children. “I told them that Uncle Dodgey was coming back,” she shares. “I explained to them that I was going to meet him, and that they would be with Dad during this time. I told them that we were very happy, but that Ariel, Kfir and Shiri still hadn’t returned. I was in a whirlwind, and since I’m a practical person, I immediately thought about logistics. What would I do with the children? How would I leave them? It was Shabbat, and there was no kindergarten and no social settings. There was great excitement and also a lot of concerns, which didn’t go away until the next day, when I saw him leave there and I began to understand what he had been through."
Among the thousands of stories, footage and tragedies of the October 7 massacre, the Bibas family has become a symbol. For more than 70 weeks, millions of Israelis – and who knows how many more around the world, have been following with concern, uncertainty and hope the fate of Yarden and Shiri Bibas, and their children Ariel and Kfir, the youngest in Hamas captivity. This cruel story remains open, since Shiri and the children have not yet returned, but the release of the father Yarden from the hands of Hamas terrorists is the beginning, perhaps, of the healing journey that he and his family so desperately need.
Nine days after he returned to Israel from captivity in Gaza, Bibas and his family are trying to complete the puzzle whose pieces have been scattered over the past 16 months. In an interview with Ynet, Ofri Bibas Levy, Yarden's sister, who was released from the hospital on Monday, tries to explain as much as possible about his condition, his consciousness, the hell he experienced and the struggle that will continue as long as Shiri, Ariel and Kfir are still in the Gaza Strip.
He's a modest and private man, and it's hard for him to grasp and deal with the fact that he and his family are known to everyone
"For us, nothing is over," she clarifies. "We are at the height of the event." Regarding Hamas' announcement that it is suspending the hostage release deal, she says: "This is exactly what we feared after the negotiating team did not leave on the 16th day of the first phase as agreed in the outline, and in light of the latest statements."
Ofri is indeed beginning to form a certain picture of what happened to her brother, but the details and gaps that need to be filled in are enormous. "Every day, Yarden discovers new things, good and bad," she says. "There's so much information to fill in, the gap is crazy. There are 16 months that need to be bridged. Every day he finds out about a friend who was kidnapped or murdered. Either he asks, or things come up in conversations. He mentions something and I fill in the details. We do everything slowly, at his own pace.
"It's important for us to give him back his sense of control and independence. Show him that what he wants and what he needs is important. He's the center. We do everything to help him get back to being a person with choices, with desires, with rights. For example, he met some of his friends, and also members of our family and Shiri's, but I try to arrange the times in such a way that it's slow, one by one and not together. I make sure he wants it and is ready. We surround him, protect him, with him all the time. And yes, there are times when he asks to be alone. He's a modest and private man, and it's hard for him to grasp and deal with the fact that he and his family are known to everyone. The photos, the details, the stories. "For someone who has come out of such a disconnection into all this, it's a lot to absorb."
You are not alone anymore
Bibas-Levy left her home in the north for the center that same Friday, after a phone call from the officer who told her that Yarden was returning. Early the next morning, she was already on her way to the meeting place with him in the Re'im camp.
"I traveled with the psychologist who accompanied us on behalf of the army, who managed the psychological integration process," she recalls. "The trip passed quickly, mainly in thoughts and conversations about what I would say to Yarden when I saw him for the first time, and what he might say to me. While I was watching the broadcasts and preparing for the ceremony in Gaza. Somehow it calmed me to see that they were creating a relatively sterile area, a large plaza clean of the Gazan crowd."
As soon as she sat down in the family room at the Re'im base, she saw Ofer Calderon on the screen getting out of the terrorists' vehicle to join the Red Cross teams. Two minutes later, Yarden also left.
"It took us a second to realize that it was him. Yarden is a relatively shy guy, and this is not a situation that was comfortable for him in any way. But he walked with his head held high, strong. Before he got on stage, they asked him to stop, take a picture and wave, but he didn't listen to them and kept walking," she said.
According to her, "It really bothered us that in various places in the media they analyzed his body language and focused a lot on the tragedies in the situation. In general, all kinds of interpretations focus on the tragedy associated with Yarden and the family, and that makes me angry. Be happy that he came back and he's alive, and that he came out strong and upright and proud. Beyond that, we still don't know about the fate of Shiri and the children, and we hold on to hope until the last moment and won't give up on it."
What did you say to each other in the first hug?
"I told him, 'You're not alone anymore.' That's what came out of me. The first thing Yarden said was actually a question, about Shiri and the children. I understood that he understood the situation as we understand it, that there is concern, but that we don't know. He came out in the same place where we are, and that was reassuring because we didn't have to mediate too much for him. We reassured him that there is no certainty, that we hope, and that despite the concerns, we are not giving up. We didn't have any more certain answers, but I could also give him hope. It's clear that, until his family arrives, he is still there, on October 7. He came out while he was still there that day, that is, that's all they had there. That memory."
What else remains with you from the hug?
"It was all so surreal. Since last year we've been seeing pictures of families hugging their loved ones who were released, and it's as if they've caught me there. It still doesn't sink in that he's here. I still can't believe he was there, and that Shiri and the children aren't here. Nothing has been processed," she says.
"He also remembers in detail the day they told him they were supposedly not alive, before the video was released. Since then he's tried to understand whether it's true or not. Whether it's psychological terrorism or if there's truth to it. Through the terrorists, and the hostages he met, he's tried to understand, and all this time he hasn't stopped hoping. That's what kept him going. We all still hope that it's all lies and that they'll come back to us. It's a very complex struggle."
A week after returning to Israel, Bibas sent a message through the media, in which he directly addressed Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and said: "Bring back my family, my friends, bring everyone home. As long as my light is still there, everything is dark here."
Ofri emphasizes that "he formulated it all by himself. It was important to him that they knew he formulated it. It's amazing to see the clarity and memory of those who came out of there. No one imagined they would come out with so much strength."
Which Yarden did you get back?
"Yarden came back and it's him, but it's not him either. Not the same Yarden. We're not who we were either. First of all, he's very thin. I saw it when he got out of the car. He's a big, broad guy, and the clothes kind of covered it up, but he lost a lot of weight. After the first meeting, we laughed at him for asking for a Bamba.
"The truth is that I can sit down and talk to him. After a year and four months I send him a text message on the phone. I am not afraid for him at any given moment. I know that he has eaten and slept and that he is showering. These are basic things that we did not know. There is still a lot of uncertainty ahead of us, and we will still have a lot to deal with, but Yarden is here and he is strong. He is not the same Yarden, but his humor, the same kind of jokes. On the day of the statement I made in Sheba, he laughed at me, 'My vegan and dairy sister – what does your connection to the struggle have to do with it?'. That is him."
Getting along with the kidnappers
Throughout the entire period of captivity, Yarden Bibas was held in tunnels and was barely exposed to the media. Yet, his family was amazed by the details he knew and how informed he was. "He knew that the October 7 event was on a large scale," she says. "He knew about the demonstrations that were taking place. He knew about the war in the north and the evacuees. They were constantly mixing up the hostages, so he met others, and through them he learned things. For example, he knew about Trump's involvement. It's amazing. On the Friday before the release, he saw a broadcast on an Arab channel that they were supposed to be released. He tells quite a bit, but there are still a lot of things that we don't know about what happened to him," according to his sister.
Yarden was held at the beginning of the captivity with Ofer Calderon, during the weeks in which the conditions that they were held in was described as extremely terrible, in cages, under unbearable psychological terror. Later, they were separated, and before the release they were held together again.
Bibas Levy talks about conditions when they were held in the tunnels. "They were held underground. He described to us the humidity and the mold and the darkness. They slept on mattresses on the floor. Of course, hunger was a major issue, and they received water rations. Their lives were in the hands of those who were guarding them. One way to deal with this was to try to get closer to them and, indeed, he came out of there speaking fluent Arabic. They spent most of the day sleeping, they simply slept most of the time and only woke up for food, when it was available. Here and there they also played cards. They talked a lot among themselves, the kidnapped. Already at the base in Re'im, Yarden told how much he cared about us.
"He told the kidnapped people who were with him about us. He mentioned that he had told about his nephews, so I told him that he had another nephew who was just born. He looked at me with a surprised look, I showed him pictures and he got excited," she said.
Last May, there was a feeling that the parties were getting closer to signing an agreement. In Gaza, too, preparations were already being made. "This was before we entered Rafah," says Ofri. "Yarden said that according to the feelings, and according to what the terrorists told them, a deal was signed. That was the understanding. They really started to organize themselves physically. As we know, it exploded. How terrible."
After being released from the hospital, Bibas moved to Kfar Maccabiah. He will not be able to return to his home in Nir Oz, at least until the reconstruction of the destroyed kibbutz is complete. "Kfar Maccabiah is an intermediate stage, short or long, we don't know, but it is of course not the final home. It will allow his parents to be with him and continue his care," explains Bibas Levy. "The physical rehabilitation is obvious, but it is also the easier part. The coping that will take them years is for the rehabilitation of the soul. We see them smiling and laughing, but the rehabilitation will take a long time."
Peak of fragility, peak of struggle
Bibas Levy, herself a mother of three small children, carries the weight of the struggle to return all the hostages on her shoulders. From her home in northern Israel, she has been everywhere: demonstrations, rallies, meetings with ministers, discussions in Knesset committees, marches, speeches at various events and, of course, numerous interviews with the media. Even now, just a few days after her brother finally returned from hell, for her nothing has stopped: "The struggle is not over for us, we are at the peak of the event. We will not stop fighting for Shiri and the children, nor for the rest of the hostages. This is what we, the families, promised each other, and this is what will happen."
That is a lot of responsibility. "I'm trying to find the balance between home and the public campaign and my desire to be with Yarden. It's not easy, it requires a lot of concessions from all kinds of directions, but the struggle is still ongoing. Nothing is over. There's always a feeling that everything could stop at any moment. Everything is fragile, and the risks are very high," she says.
"This reality is difficult and cruel for the families, the public, and of course the hostages who are waiting. We are starting to see them returning, which is wonderful, but the feelings are mixed. The urgency to get everyone out as quickly as possible is obvious, but instead of speeding their return, we are delaying talks about the second phase. What else needs to happen? Why would three released hostages be released in such a terrible state? So we'll be shocked and realize again that they don't have time? It's like we knew that dozens of hostages had been murdered, and then when the murder of the six came in the summer, we discovered what their nutritional situation was and we were shocked.
"In the first releases in this deal, the hostages seemed fine, but it's clear that they are not okay. The gap between the physical and what they are going through mentally is like an abyss. The decision-makers know very well what is happening there, about the abuse, the starvation, the danger to their lives. They know everything, and they are not doing what is necessary to save them. Semantics are not important. We must get everyone out of there as quickly as possible, both the living and the dead. We must end this nightmare."
In the meantime, the cabinet convened on Tuesday, and the delegation in Doha did not discuss Phase II. "I wish I could say that I am surprised. This is consistent with all the conduct and the dragging of feet, as if there is time. So we will wait a few more days. We are counting a week as if it is nothing. For people in the government it is nothing, for those who are there, it is life or death."
How do you comment on the various statements, for example by Bezalel Smotrich, who said that "there will be no pressure to take steps in exchange for the release of the kidnapped?"
"I really have no words anymore. How dare he? One hand on the keyboard welcomes the return of the hostages, with the other hand they oppose Phase II, prevent the return of others and are proud that they torpedoed the previous deal. I do not know by what moral standards they are living. True, the deal is bad. No one thinks it is good. But it saves lives. This is what you, Smotrich and Ben-Gvir, who are members of this government, have managed to bring. You couldn't have done better than that. I don't know if you tried.
"Let's finish this and bring everyone back, and then we'll deal with whatever comes our way. The war with our enemies will never end. The idea that some deal or other will end it or prevent it is simply lying to us all, and to themselves. It is exploiting the suffering of the hostages for agendas that I no longer understand.
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"In the end, by the way, they are making a lot of noise, but the responsibility lies with the prime mnister. It was and remains with him. To threaten Hamas now, which could delay the next round of returns, when all that needs to be done is the opposite, to promote everyone's release is infuriating. How is it possible that we, as citizens of Israel, are pinning all our hopes on the president of the United States, Donald Trump? We don't need to trust anyone else."
Speaking of the prime minister and ministers, did anyone talk to you after Yarden's return?
"The prime minister didn't talk to us, nor did the president or any of the ministers. Benny Gantz contacted us, but no meeting has taken place yet. Hili Tropper, who is in contact with the family, wrote to me. The rest didn't call to congratulate Yarden on his return or ask how he was doing. They don't want to face him and look us in the face, but they don't have the right not to do it. It won't be pleasant, maybe it's not an image for an election campaign, but they have to deal with the consequences of the decisions they've made over 16 months. Even if we don't agree to talk to them, it's their duty to do it and let us choose. As far as we're concerned, we won't stop. We just won't."