How can the role of a rabbi's wife be defined? Is she merely her husband's assistant, a source of authority on certain issues, a community leader, or does she simply set tables on Shabbat and Yom Tov?
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A one-of-a-kind convention held in March in Vienna attempted to confront the elephant in the room, rarely discussed in the Orthodox world. The European Rebbetzins Convention is a joint project of the Conference of European Rabbis (CER) and Jewish Futures UK.
"Nowadays, countless rabbis' wives engage fully with their community, educating and providing vital guidance to families, both practical and spiritual’’, states Rabbi Pinchas Goldschmidt, President of the CER. ‘’The CER wishes to acknowledge their ongoing efforts. It is crucial that these rebbetzins are recognized and receive professional training to assist them with these tasks".
Mr. Gady Gronich, CER CEO and chief of staff, explains the rationale behind this initiative, “This is addressing a valid need that emerged from their practical service. We were approached by rebbetzins from various European communities and we’ve decided to accept this challenge and take up the gauntlet. It is of paramount importance to recognize that the majority of the rebbetzins are not compensated for their services, and in many cases, their only recognition is as the ‘rabbi’s wife’. These women have a significant impact on their communities, but they are neither compensated nor recognized for their tireless efforts.
The CER wishes to recognize the rebbetzin's pivotal role, so that in the future when a community aims to hire a rabbi, they will also seek to hire the rebbetzin and remunerate her accordingly. What does the rebbetzin do, you may ask? The most likely response would be "making a Friday night dinner"… This is precisely what I'd like to change. You can call me a feminist, yet this is something I truly believe in’’. According to Gronich, the CER program will assist junior rebbetzins with day-to-day challenges in their communities through lectures, classes, group discussions and personal guidance.
The CER program offers two tracks: a mentoring track, in which each junior rebbetzin receives individual mentoring from an experienced senior rebbetzin, as well as a leadership track. The leadership track is a professional community development program that will assist them in developing leadership skills such as public speaking, media interviews and enhancing leadership characteristics.
The Rebbetzin on the Frontline
The Conference of European Rabbis is Europe's primary Orthodox rabbinical alliance. It unites and supports over 700 community rabbis from across Europe, as well as rabbinic leaders from outside of Europe who are members of the International Assembly. The CER has played a key role in protecting the rights of Jews in Europe to uphold Jewish traditions and lifestyle, as well as to be the voice of European Jewry. The organization has been involved in safeguarding the religious freedoms of Jews in Europe to practice religious lifestyles in the face of bans on traditional slaughter and brit milah.
"This is a groundbreaking program", emphasizes Rabbi Aharon Shmuel Baskin, CER secretary. ‘’Following the immense success of the young rabbis training program, we recognized the need to offer a similar program to assist junior rebbetzins. These ladies carry out very challenging work, most of the time without monetary compensation or recognition".
Why now?
‘’Perhaps we should have initiated it sooner’’, Baskin says, smiling. ‘’Since Rabbi Goldschmidt took office as president, the CER has taken on an exciting and innovative form. The CER has evolved into an organization that represents Jewish interests across Europe and more recently, is now involved in communal work and training programs for rabbinical couples. As part of this program, we provide important tools for rebbetzins, as well as the necessary support, and most importantly—create networking opportunities. In cases where the rabbi serves a small community, the challenge is even greater for his wife, having to stand alone on the frontline and deal with a plethora of issues. Orthodox community rebbetzins do not answer Halachic questions; however, they are actively involved in communal work, such as organizing events, outreach activities, ladies’ classes, etc’’.
Developments are occurring without making any statements
Rebbetzin Yemima Mizrachi, attorney and international speaker, has been appointed President of the new Rebbetzin Training Programme of the CER. She passionately supports the important initiatives led by the CER. ‘’Women have always been involved with community leadership roles and held key positions. Women have a huge role to play in Jewish communities in Israel and around the world. In Europe, they've realized that rebbetzins should be supported, paid, and recognized, whereas in Israel, it still remains a vision’’.
‘’This process has been occurring naturally and quietly in Europe, not as an act of protest or breaking rules. My approach does not advocate for breaking through the glass ceiling; rather, I encourage people to fill the void with actions. Glass ceilings will fall on their own. Without dismissing any feminist struggles that enabled progression on this front, I believe that global feminism can learn a lot from Jewish religious feminism. Things are happening naturally and quietly, without making any bold statements. It's fascinating to me’’. Mizrachi expresses her concerns about the current situation in the context of Israel's legal reform protests. At the same time, she emphasizes on a positive note that "Often conflicts are an expression of a close relationship, rather than avoiding one another and not having any relationships at all. There is a positive aspect regarding sharing and discussing matters’’.
Nevertheless, she admits, not without regret, that certain processes in Israel are not yet mature and ready to take place. ‘’ In some ways, I believe it may be easier to organize such a convention for rebbetzins abroad rather than in Israel’’, she says. ‘’In Israel, the personal often tends to become politicized and blow out of proportion. The astounding novelty of this phenomenon is the recognition that it still occurs naturally, thanks to the selfless, devoted work that women invest in their communities. Mr. Gronich and Rabbi Baskin have decided to advocate for this, which I think is wonderful.
What do you think rabbis and other Orthodox men will think of the empowerment of Orthodox rebbetzins?
“This appears to be highly encouraged, and the rebbetzins’ contribution to the lives of their communities is tangible. Miriam the prophetess, Yocheved and other important Jewish women who kept us together as one nation in times of crisis are among these special women. Nobody ever told them ‘It’s not right’ or went against them, and they’ve been doing it for years’’.
Pesach and the Handmaid’s Tale
There is actually a powerful lesson from the Haggadah which is relatable to the current situation in Israel. The importance of dialogue. The importance of keeping the conversation alive. With all of the arduous Pesach house chores, Pesach has the potential to be ‘The Handmaid's Tale’; however, we are aiming for ‘The Open Dialogue Tale’. In addition to our challenges as mothers and wives in keeping the family together, we now face laborious cleaning and chores. We should recognize that we are a royal nation and Pesach is the festival of royalty. The Haggadah specifically addresses the four sons and we must now show solidarity in light of our shared narrative of where we came from and where we are heading as a nation. We must keep the conversation going’’.
The mentoring program was co-led by Mrs. Gitty Spitz of Yerushalayim and Mrs. Ilana Epstein, educator at Jewish Futures UK and rebbetzin of Western Marble Arch Synagogue in London. ‘’Conventions for rebbetzins take place in various forms; however, our program is groundbreaking in its long-term support, professional sessions throughout the year, empowerment, personal development and mentoring network—junior rebbetzin supported by a senior one’’, she explains.
What are the next steps?
‘’Our goal is to maintain continuity and offer support for this first wonderful group of rebbetzins that we created here today so that it does not fade away. Furthermore, in the future we will be able to reach out to more junior rebbetzins across Europe, and provide them with the vital support they require, ensuring that they do not feel alone in their important and fantastic role in their locales."
Rebbetzin Bat-Hen Bar Geva and her husband Eliyahu work in a Jewish community in Alicante, Spain, as part of the Straus Amiel Institute, which trains young couples - rabbis and educators - who embark on religious shlichut across the world.
‘’In Alicante, my husband is the community rabbi. Last May, we arrived in this small and assimilated community to celebrate Jewish festivals and traditions. My husband is a paid employee, whilst I am a volunteer. I do a lot of community service here and my relationship with the locals is very significant. I believe that women contribute significantly to their communities by organizing events, particularly for the Chagim with large crowds, such as Pesach. There are many rebbetzins in this group who work devotedly and tirelessly and deserve to be rewarded. This organization gives rebbetzins the credit and recognition they deserve and puts them in the spotlight’’.
‘’It is now popular to discuss gender equality, feminism and competition between men and women’’, adds Rebbetzin Hanna Hofmeister of Vienna. ‘’Naturally, there is no true equality, but rather male and female complementarity. We must recognize and respect one another’s roles in the community and society. Women's roles, on the other hand, must not be restricted, as evidenced by their ability to fully fill a wide range of positions. This convention gives us renewed energy to carry on with our work’’.
The reporter was a guest at the European Rebbetzins Convention in Vienna