Decades from now, we will look back and realize we sacrificed the hostages. A sense of failure and guilt will haunt Israeli society more than any other stain or war. The fate of the hostages will shape who we become, more than the scars of the massacre. We will see their faces at every crossroads. We will try to convince ourselves we had no choice – but that is a lie. We did. We still do.
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We are, at this very moment, holding their lives in our wounded hands. There are those among us who already count them as dead. But they are alive. Avigail, 3, who witnessed the murder of her parents and was kidnapped alone; Eitan, 12, who was snatched into Gaza on a motorcycle before his mother’s eyes; Yafa, 85, and dozens of other elderly people who need their medication. Some 238 souls betrayed, and a baby born into captivity, await us in a state of profound fear.
Whoever says “war before a deal” is gambling with the hostages' lives. Dozens or hundreds of them will not survive, or will be murdered by Hamas as the IDF closes in. Those who remain will be shadows of their former selves. Israeli may win the war in Gaza – but it will lose itself.
The terror attack did not end on October 7; the attack is ongoing so long as the hostages are held captive. The knife of trauma digs ever deeper into the flesh. If the hostages die a brutal death, the monstrous rage within us, inflamed by guilt, will unfold decades of bloodshed, spiraling out of control. Hamas has made it clear this is its goal – a war lasting years, and an Israeli response that echoes the Nakba and forces other players in the region to join in with tens of thousands of advanced ballistic missiles.
From a bird’s-eye view, these past weeks look like the first act of the story. The bottle of our emotions has been shaken so fiercely that, when the cap comes off, we will lose all control. On our side, too, there are those who fantasize about a cataclysmic war decided by the armies of God. The question is, how do we avoid playing into the hands of evil? Hamas did not only take the children hostage to use as human shields, or to negotiate a prisoner exchange, but to tear us apart from the inside. It may desire to keep them in captivity for two years, and to make sure that deals fall through.
From a moral standpoint, even a military standpoint, Israel should have declared that the ultimate purpose of the war is the humane and pressing need to bring back civilians ripped from their homes. To bring them home, above any other goal. If military intelligence is to be believed, Hamas would not have agreed to a quick deal, but the fighting that occurred in the meantime would have sanctified the principle that Israel will stop at nothing to save its people – a promise inherent to its very existence.
The international community would have a harder time arguing with a country that wishes to rescue its hostages. The message is simple, and would provide the world with a clear understanding of the necessary actions: a powerful threat against Qatar and the likes, forcing the release of all hostages. The world has not made the connection between the return of the hostages and the chance at preventing an all-out war. In Gaza and in Jerusalem, meanwhile, leaders hunker down in their belief that they must not betray any weakness. The notion that we might deter Yahya Sinwar by acting as if we are in no rush to save the hostages is unfounded. Sinwar knows us well. He will win if we forget the people we have strived to be.
Yes, a deal that brings home children without their mothers is horrifying. A child who has just experienced Holocaust-levels of violence must not be forced to witness his mother getting left behind. If we cave to Sinwar’s psychological game, we risk a slippery slope. But the question of Israel’s conduct runs far deeper than the story of the mothers. Those who told us that Hamas is holed up in 500 kilometers of tunnels with five months’ worth of supplies, demand “war before a deal,” and protest the heavy cost of the cease-fire days imposed by the deal. When deals come before the administration for approval, there are pyromaniacs in our government who will fight against them. A government that would vote them down will have blood on its hands.
The government’s handling of the families of hostages started off with appalling negligence. Soon, there will be those who try to turn us, the families and friends of the hostages, into enemies of the people, because our cry will grow louder. All of Israel is held hostage in Gaza. So long as they are not returned to us, home will never feel like home again. If we have abandoned them, Hamas has won, and forever changed us.
Ron Leshem is a writer and international television producer. His cousin Itai Sabirsky was kidnapped by Hamas terrorists from Kibbutz Be'eri