When your child is in captivity it feels like you are missing a limb and "your heart is with him there." This phrase is repeated by many family members of the kidnapped hostages, and they even wear it around their necks on the now-famous dog tags. So how do you deal with pain and worry when two of your children are kidnapped in Gaza? After all, you have only one heart.
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Talia Berman is the mother of kidnapped twins Ziv and Gali Berman,26, from Kfar Aza, Yehi Yahud is the father of hostages Dolev, 35, and Arbel, 28, from Nir Oz; Silvia Cunio is the mother of David, 33, and Ariel, 26, also from Nir Oz. And if the pain of two children in captivity is not enough, in the Yahud and Cunio families the situation is even more complicated: Arbel Yahud is Ariel Cunio's partner, and the families are intertwined.
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Arbel and Dolev Yahud's parents are waiting for their safe return
(Photo: Dana Kopel)
"It feels like a part of the soul is missing, 100 days that feel to us like one long day that never ends," Yehi Yahud said. Dolev is the eldest son in the family. He is married to Sigi, who was in her third trimester when he was kidnapped and has since given birth to their daughter. Neta, who was not kidnapped, is the middle child in the family. Arbel, who is defined by her father as "the bird of our soul," is currently held captive in Gaza.
"We have two different kinds of anxieties," Yehi Yahud explained. "We are very anxious for Arbel's fate because she is a woman. We fear that she has experienced mental, physical or sexual abuse. Alongside this, there is anxiety for the fate of Dolev, who has Hashimoto's thyroiditis, and he does not have his medicine. Without pills, his body is getting weaker and weaker, leading to severe danger to his life. During this time we have received reports showing proof of life for Arbel. We received nothing about Dolev. We are fighting for them to be released together, she as a woman and he as chronically ill."
"The relationship between Dolev and Arbel is very close," according to their father. "An older brother and the youngest daughter who always saw him as a kind of mentor, and also his wife Sigi. They lived together with Neta in Nir Oz, in separate apartments. Every day, after work, they would meet for shared meals. Dolev and Neta looked after Arbel at every stage of her life - as a child at home, as a girl at school and also as a woman who already works. Ariel Cunio is also ours. I fight for him as much as they do, I am waiting to see him, and I will be excited when it happens just like with my children. He and Arbel have been together for five years. I hope that Arbel is in captivity at least with one of the most significant men in her life: Dolev or Ariel."
"I wish Ariel is with Arbel," says Silvia Cunio, the mother of the kidnapped brothers. "It is very rare to date people you grew up with in the kibbutz because everyone there is a bit like siblings, but it happened. Ariel is a classic youngest child, a bit spoiled. The girls in the kibbutz call him Pepito because that is the nickname I gave him since he was a child. He is a good person and the truth is he's also handsome and tall. I just hope he doesn't come back too thin."
Ariel's older brother, David Cunio, was kidnapped along with his wife, Sharon, and their daughters, Emma and Yuli. Three days before the girls were returned to Israel, he was separated from them.
"The girls ask all the time, 'when is dad coming back? When are the bad guys releasing him?' They get up at night and ask where their father is," Silvia said. "I keep thinking about what conditions they are in there. It's winter now. Do they have enough clothes? Do they eat? Do they treat them like humans? I hardly sleep at night. Every bite I eat causes me pangs of guilt because I don't know if they are eating."
Talia Berman said that she always wanted a girl. "I have two grown sons and I kept saying that I have to have a daughter, a third girl, and I'm done," she said. "When I received the message that I had twins in my belly and it was two boys I almost fainted. As children it was important to me that they be separate: different nurseries, different preschools so that one would not overshadow the other. But it was impossible to separate them. They are the best of friends. Raising four boys is difficult, especially with our family's situation. Doron, my husband, was a farmer, was poisoned by pesticides and at the age of 37 was dealing with Parkinson's. He had tremors but he was a fully involved father; he took them to classes and ran around with them. Over time, the situation worsened and for the past six years he has been with a caretaker."
Gali and Ziv were kidnapped from the "Young Generation" neighborhood in Kfar Aza, which suffered a terrible blow on October 7. "Only today, when they are not with me, I find out how many friends they have," said Berman. "People keep contacting me and asking what I need. The void they left is so significant. They would send me their work schedule to make sure I didn't need help with their dad during the scheduled shifts. For both of them, their priorities are family and their father first, then the rest. They are simply the light of the house. Laughter, madness, one hides the other's phone. Always happy with them."
Talia knows that the 26-year-old twins, who have never been separated, are now in different places.
"We got a sign of life from both of them, but they were seen separately," she explained. "It was a long time ago. We heard it from the guys who returned almost 50 days ago. Now we don't know what's going on. Families of other hostages tell me: 'We are with one person there and we are collapsing, how do you hold on with two?'"
"So really everything is double: double the worry, double the pressure, twice the sleep disturbances, double the nightmares. I need sleeping pills. I'm terribly afraid for them. Since they were kidnapped, Doron decided he stopped living. He didn't eat or drink. We got to the point where he was hospitalized for a month and a half and they had to feed him. We are doing everything so that when they return he will be here," she said.