Whoever is unhappy with the relations within their nuclear family is invited to look at a trusted old source and understand that this is the norm.
Having completed the weekly readings from the Book of Genesis, this week Jews turn to Exodus. The second book of the Pentateuch focuses on the departure from Egypt and events in the Sinai desert, in preparation for entering the Promised Land and realizing the Hebrews' destiny as a nation.
What is a nation, particularly the nation of Israel? Does it have a raison d'etre without belief in the Promise? Do the commandments obligate the political entity which is modern-day Israel? Those issues are all part of the current discourse.
But first - back to Genesis. In addition to the emergence of monotheism and depictions of the nation's roots, it also highlights an issue that supports the mental health industry – the complexity of families.
The first couple ever, Adam and Eve, displayed blame, denial and the manipulative involvement of a third party, the serpent. What can one say about the first siblings, Cain and Abel, their rivalry, envy and horrific end.
I will skip incest between Lot and his daughters and move to our forefather Abraham and his wife Sarah. Their partnership was productive but complicated - in order that he not remain childless, she initiated his relationship with her handmaiden, Hagar, only to bring to her expulsion with Ishmael – Hagar's son, Abraham's firstborn.
And then the Akeda, the binding of Isaac on the altar, which touches on faith, on the limits of obedience and more. I will not presume to discuss those and only say that the text is unequivocal: human sacrifice is forbidden, regardless of its purpose or of who orders it.
No wonder that after the event, about which Abraham did not consult with his wife or even inform her, she seems to have severed her ties with him - there is no record of further contact between them. The text does not reveal how Isaac coped with the trauma of seeing his father wield a knife over him, but we know that he married at forty.
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Like many siblings, the twins of Isaac and Rebecca were different in every way – looks, occupation and character. Father preferred one, mother was partial to the other. Mother literally cooked up a scheme that favored Jacob, deprived Esau of his rights, and forced her favorite to flee to her brother Laban.
Tricks may be a family trait – Jacob's uncle demanded that he labor for seven years in order to marry Rachel, then gave him Leah. As polygamy is no longer practiced, there is no need to discuss the relationship between sisters who shared a husband, and we move to the preferred son, Joseph, his brothers' envy, and the divisions among them.
His convoluted arrival in Egypt, promotion, reconciliation with the brothers, the family's emigration to Egypt (devoutness to the Land did not withstand the threat of famine) and we reach Exodus.
The central figure is Moses. The Bible tells us of his siblings Aaron and Miriam, but whereas Genesis describes complex family relationships, the trend does not continue. Other than a gossipy episode regarding the relationship between Moses and his wife Zipporah, there is no evidence of tension or envy, only fraternal cooperation.
Did human nature change, with the books? No.
Moses was not raised at home and there was no prior emotional background to sibling interactions – he was not the annoying little brother, the preferred child or the neglected grandchild. Moreover, he grew up in a royal palace, with all that implies.
Tova HerzlGenetically, he was a Hebrew, one of them. But the perception – his, his family's, the entire nation's – was that he is also somehow foreign, a superior import, sort of "Made in America". Unlike us, the simple natives.
Whoever wonders why her family is not perfect, like in the fairy tales, which have just one witch, one Pharaoh and everyone else is excellent – that is not the norm. Rather, it is the harsh models of Genesis which must be overcome.
- Tova Herzl is a former Israeli ambassador to South Africa and the Baltic countries, and served as liaison between the U.S. Congress at the Israeli Embassy in Washington.