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Weeks after returning to Israel following 477 days in captivity, a stark contrast remains between the relative openness of the released IDF lookouts about their time in Gaza and their silence regarding the events of October 7.
While they have spoken in detail to their families about their conditions in captivity — the constant life-threatening danger, their captors' treatment, hunger and poor hygiene — they avoid discussing what happened in the shelter at the Nahal Oz base that Saturday.
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Released IDF lookouts arrive in Israeli hospital
(Video: IDF Spokesperson's Unit)
During those hours, they waited in vain for help, were beaten by terrorists and watched their comrades killed before their eyes.
"She just doesn’t talk about it," said Albert Ariev, father of Karina Ariev. "What happened in that shelter was horrific. It makes her rehabilitation even harder — I can see it. Something terrible happened to my daughter on October 7. The captivity wasn't easy but the nightmare is split into two parts."
Why is what happened in the shelter off-limits, while she discusses more than a year in captivity?
"She says she saw and experienced terrible things there. She was severely wounded and told us that she wanted to die on that day. She wished for an airstrike to end her suffering. They abused and beat her endlessly. That’s it — she won’t go further. She just says, 'I went through hell that day and wished to die.' It was the worst day of her entire period in captivity."
Since the second hostage deal began, Israelis have struggled to process the harrowing accounts of those who returned. The challenge is even greater for their families, mixing relief with the horror of what they endured.
Ynet spoke with three parents of the five released observers: Albert Ariev, father of Karina; Shira Albag, mother of Liri Albag and Yoni Levy, father of Naama Levy. They all agreed: The wounds from October 7 have not begun to heal yet.
Shira Albag: "October 7 is as much a trauma as captivity and we haven't even begun addressing it. They saw their friends murdered and then sat there for four hours. Liri told me, 'Mom, we’ll have to process that later.' She hasn't spoken about what happened there.
“At the time, they thought it had only happened at their base — they had no idea of the scale. Only after four days, when they met other hostages, did they start to grasp the full picture. It took time for them to realize how many people were kidnapped."
"Liri heard radio broadcasts and watched TV, mostly Al Jazeera. When she and her friends learned Arabic, they understood the situation — there was a war. They knew about the first hostage deal because people held with them were released.
“The captors made sure to hide anything relevant from them, except for negative news about Israel — saying there were no agreements, no efforts to bring them back. They used psychological terror, telling them, 'We’ll marry you off and convert you to Islam.'"
"October 7 is as much a trauma as captivity and we haven't even begun addressing it. They saw their friends murdered and then sat there for four hours."
Yoni Levy: "Naama was exposed to the famous image of her from October 7. People told her about it — there was no way around it. She became famous against her will. From what little she’s shared, the real trauma, the breaking point and the most horrifying scenes were on October 7. Her world collapsed on that day."
Bread made of donkey food
The upright posture and piercing gaze of the four lookouts released on January 25 gave the impression they had been together the entire time, but in reality, they were often separated.
"Liri was with Agam Berger from day one and, at times, with Naama," said Shira Albag. "She wasn’t with Daniella Gilboa or Karina. They have a deep connection. They experienced something we will never understand.
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“They don’t talk about it — when they meet, they just hold hands in silence and understand each other. Each of them went through it alone but their bond gave them strength. Even now, outside of captivity, being together helps them cope."
Did they see the Hamas videos of them?
"They saw them on TV. Their captors made sure they did. But Liri told me, 'Mom, it passed quickly.' They didn’t dwell on it. Not like us, who watched them over and over for days."
Where was Liri held?
"She was in both houses and tunnels. Mostly homes. The tunnels drove her crazy with the silence, even though they technically had more freedom to move. But they were humid and eerily quiet — total silence. At least in the houses she could hear movement outside, which helped her feel that something was happening."
"The houses she was in belonged to families with children and those kids cursed at her, spat on her and threatened her. We’ll have to deal with these kids when they grow up to be terrorists. That’s our reality in the Middle East."
What did they eat? How did they maintain hygiene?
"Sometimes they got two meals a day; sometimes they had nothing for days. At times, they ate food meant for donkeys. They made pita bread from it because there was no flour. Hygiene was minimal. Liri wore the same underwear from October 7. As women, we understand what that means — it’s not easy. They got sick a lot."
How did they pass the time?
"With a lot of thoughts and imagination. They played word-association games. They all kept diaries but weren’t allowed to take anything out of captivity. They also sang — rewriting lyrics to familiar songs."
Anger at the state
Karina, on the other hand, preferred staying in tunnels. "She had a logical explanation," said Albert Ariev. "Being above ground in Gaza was a death trap. She preferred to be underground because there were constant airstrikes above.
“Some days, they were moved while buildings collapsed around them, with shrapnel flying everywhere. She just wanted to be somewhere safe — even if it was a tunnel. She didn’t care as long as she survived."
"Sometimes they got two meals a day; sometimes they had nothing for days. At times, they ate food meant for donkeys."
What were the conditions like?
"They only had cold water and washed with a funnel. She had no spare underwear but asked for a toothbrush and got one. There was no electricity. Some days, she didn’t leave her bed. They could move between locations, but they were stuck in a room for a month at times."
How was the food?
"She said it was 'not tasty,' but she forced herself to eat. She ate whatever the terrorists ate. During tough times, they gave them their own food."
Karina spent more than a year with Daniella Gilboa. How did they pass the time?
"My daughter came back speaking fluent Arabic. It’s surreal. She translates Al Jazeera for us. They also wrote songs. They enlisted together, served at the Nahal Oz base for nine months and were among the few lookouts who knew exactly what was happening that morning. When Karina called us, she simply said, 'War broke out. Dad, don’t come here.' That’s how she said goodbye."
"They were a trio — Karina, Daniella and Aviv Hajaj, who was murdered in the shelter before their eyes. They were always together in the operations room, deeply bonded. That helped them survive, despite the occasional arguments in captivity."
Yoni Levy: "Naama was held with other hostages and, at times, with some of the lookouts. There were many relocations, separations and regroupings. She’s mostly angry at Israel. She feels the state tried to kill her because it bombed the houses she was in. In one case, they barely escaped and a collapsing wall injured her. Her biggest fear was our own bombings."
How were they treated by their captors?
Shira Albag: "Liri reads people well. The moment she was taken, she understood: 'This is my reality now. I’m in Gaza and I need to survive like a Gazan.' She knew how to handle them — not by fighting, but by playing their game.
“It worked well beyond our expectations. At the same time, the terrorists slept in their room 24/7, always watching them. Every moment was a threat — one wrong word or a captor in a bad mood and everything changed."
Albert Ariev: "The captors explained why they carried out October 7—it was the blockade, the food shortages, the power cuts. They were both angry and emotional. Karina kept her distance, avoiding debates."
"She saw firsthand what happened when Israel bombed. She’s furious that people, including her, weren’t evacuated before the airstrikes. She knows Hamas is a terrorist group responsible for October 7, but she’s also angry at Israel because she lived through the war on both sides—as an abandoned target on October 7 and as a captive under bombardment in Gaza."
"At the same time, the terrorists slept in their room 24/7, always watching them. Every moment was a threat — one wrong word or a captor in a bad mood and everything changed."
'Every little thing brings them back'
Even now, surrounded by loved ones, captivity lingers.
Albert Ariev: "Karina told us there were constant bombings in Gaza. Even today, she covers her ears when a helicopter flies overhead. We hope it passes with time."
Yoni Levy: "We were at home when a passing car made some noise — something we didn't even notice — but she got terribly scared. She watched a bit of the release on Saturday and you could see it shook her. She doesn't understand what it means — whether there will be another round or not.
“We can't even explain to her what a 'humanitarian phase' means and that young people and soldiers would come later. She keeps saying, 'Everyone needs to get out of there, what don't you understand?' Even on a personal level, her recovery can't begin until it ends and everyone comes back."
Shira Albag: "Liri said right after she was released, 'We were in hell and the boys are in an even worse hell.' We see the girls now and they look strong, like they're okay and they laugh — but nothing is okay. People need to understand that.
“We need to get everyone out urgently just so they can get close to being okay. There's no set formula for their recovery and we still don't know how to approach it. No one in this country does — not even the therapists. Everyone is learning, us and Liri too."
Did she watch the hostage release on Saturday?
"I didn't watch TV. I only looked at Liri and when I saw her reaction, I quickly told them, 'Turn it off.' I saw it wasn't good for her. She froze. Every little thing like that brings them back. I saw that even though she was home, at that moment, she was still in captivity.
"Liri said that more than once that the terrorists told them, 'When you're united, we fear you. You're strong.' They kept repeating it. That's something everyone needs to take in — the leaders and the people. Over these 15 months, I've realized the people are very united but our leadership isn't."
Albert Ariev: "Karina also thinks about the hostages still there a lot. She said, 'Our hearts are split into 255 pieces.' Every person who doesn’t return shatters her heart. She was only with Daniella throughout captivity, but she heard from others about different hostages and knows the horrors they're enduring."
'You can't be fully happy'
The returning lookouts have modest dreams: waking up and making coffee, eating breakfast at home, opening their own closet, sleeping in their own bed and showering in their own bathroom. The small things that were taken from them for 15 months now bring them immense joy.
Shira Albag: "Everything is in her hands now and those little things do her good. Even just sitting with us and watching TV — not that we get to do much of it. Yesterday, she got a tattoo she dreamed of while in captivity and even drew it — a postage stamp with hearts and a phrase that gave her strength throughout. The funny thing is, I don't even remember what it says."
Yoni Levy: "In her first days back, Naama really wanted to go to the sea. She said she had dreamed about it for a long time underground. Even in the hospital, there was a window and every afternoon, when there was nothing else to do, she would go look at the sunset over the sea.
“So, when we had the chance, we took her for half an hour — to see the horizon, to hear the waves. She and I are trying to figure out when she can run a few kilometers again. Sports was a big part of her life and we're looking for the first opportunity for her to reconnect with herself, with her body."
Albert Ariev: "Karina has a long rehabilitation ahead of her. She was injured in the head and lower limbs. Her legs are full of shrapnel, which makes standing and walking for long periods difficult. She also has shrapnel in her face, so it'll take time.”
What would you say to the hostages’ families still waiting?
Shira Albag: "Three weeks ago, I was in their place. Nothing I say can help — they’re at their lowest point. But you can't lose hope and faith. You have to hold onto them. Talk to the hostages, on the radio and TV.
“We don’t know who’s listening. It strengthens them. Liri didn’t hear us, only other families, and still, it gave her strength. Just by reaching out, they don’t lose hope. We're in a battle to bring them home. Liri is here, but for me, this war isn’t over until the last hostage returns."
Albag can’t hold back her tears. "It's still hard for me," she says. "I see Idit, Alon Ohel’s mother, and I cry with her. Just a moment ago, Liri was in his place. You can’t be fully happy. Even Liri isn’t fully happy as long as there’s a hostage still in there."