'Isn't Jerry Falwell smiling now?'
Photo: CD Bank
Have a kosher Christmas
Go ahead, fellow Jews. Listen to Christmas music. It won't kill you
The Christmas-Hanukkah debate in America is even louder this year than usual, in part because the two holidays directly coincide this year and in part because of the accelerating culture wars.
The war in Iraq continues to divide blue- and red-state America, but the culture war that underlies these divisions is being expressed in this absurd way: Archetypal (and de facto "red-state") Jewish comedian Jackie Mason shouting "Merry Christmas" from the steps of St. Patrick's Cathedral to protest the so-called secularization of Christmas. Isn't Jerry Falwell smiling now?
Santa Claus is back in town, indeed.
It is difficult to watch this American wrangling from here without smiling. We came here, in a way, to get away from Christmas. The joke is on me, of course: I could jog to the birthplace of Christmas - downtown Bethlehem - from my apartment if only I were in slightly better shape.
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But you know what I mean: Christmas is not much of a factor in the Jewish homeland. I have several business meetings scheduled on Sunday, the 25th. The kids would be in school were it not also coincidentally Hanukkah.
But I certainly remember Christmas back in the Old Country. We lived on a thoroughly Italian and Irish street in Brooklyn, which was lit up more garishly than the Sunset Strip from Thanksgiving through year's end.
The four - then three - Jewish households clustered at one end of the street were conspicuously dark, except for that great 1950s invention: the electric menorah with its orange lights. We faithfully screwed in one additional bulb a night throughout Hanukkah's eight days (Yes, we did light candles in the house, too.).
We also drove every year to the one house in the neighborhood (doesn't every neighborhood have one?) that had more than flashing lights. This house sported a large Santa climbing the chimney, plastic reindeer running on the lawn, flashing lights, music - you name it.
I remember enjoying the display and not feeling jealous we didn't have one. We weren't so insecure as to need a so-called "Hanukkah bush" (For all the talk about them I have never known a single person who actually had one.).
Christmas in America is a secular 'winter holiday'
To this day I know more Christmas songs than Hanukkah tunes, and we once went to a Hanukkah party where we sang synagogue hymn Adon Olam to as many Christmas melodies as we could. Some people were offended, but, hey, that was America.
We also stayed in America long enough for the advent of Hanukkah counter-programming: You know, dreidels, songs and movies at the JCC on Xmas Day. I didn't get it. Weren't movies and Chinese food good enough?
Hey, Jerry and Jackie: Christmas in America is a secular "winter holiday." Irving Berlin (see below) made that happen 50 years ago. Those people who want to "put the Christ back in Christmas" can do so without making a big stink about it. Commercial, retail America needs Christmas to make those fourth quarter figures tally high enough (You listening, New York City transit workers?), the same way it needs to make Presidents Day weekend a time of shopping, not a time for sober reflection on the nation's values. It's what America is all about.
So, relax, and enjoy. Herewith is my Top Ten list of "kosher" Christmas songs safe for the frozen chosen (those who can't make it down to Florida or Arizona for the "winter break"):
10. So This is Christmas - John Lennon.
9. Santa Claus is Coming to Town - The Crystals. From Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (Jewish) producer Phil Spector's classic album, "A Christmas Gift For You."
8. Santa Claus is Coming to Town b/w Merry Christmas Baby - Bruce Springsteen's versions.
7. Christmas in Hollis - Run DMC. For the classic rhyme: "It's Christmas time in Hollis, Queens/Mama's cookin' chicken and collard greens.
6. Run, Rudolph, Run - Chuck Berry.
5. Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley.
4. The Christmas Song ("Chestnuts roasting on an open fire") - Nat "King" Cole. Co-written by the (Jewish) jazz singer Mel Torme.
3. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus - Ronettes. Also from the "Phil Spector Christmas Album."
2. Santa Claus is Back in Town - Elvis Presley.
Possibly the raunchiest Christmas song ever to get wide airplay. Written by the (Jewish) Songwriters Hall of Fame members Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoller.
1. White Christmas - Bing Crosby's version ONLY. Stay away from the one by the (Jewish) blue-eyed soul singer Michael Bolton. Supposedly the most recorded song of all time, by that great (Jewish) American songwriter Irving Berlin (Izzy Baline), with more than 2,000 versions, by one account.
Merry Christmas, baby.
Alan D. Abbey is Founding Editor of Ynetnews. He can be reached at [email protected]
