Washington rabbi informs congregants he is gay
Gil Steinlauf, leader of the Conservative Adas Israel synagogue, comes out in letter to congregation after 20 years of marriage and three children.
The congregation's leadership appeared supportive of the rabbi, the Washington Post reported last week. In a letter to congregants, synagogue President Arnie Podgorsky said he stood with the rabbi and his wife.
"I have great respect for their ability to face changing circumstances in their lives with honesty and integrity. We can all learn from their example," the letter said.
Adas Israel, which was founded 146 years ago, is considered one of the Washington region’s most prominent synagogues and its largest Conservative synagogue. Two Supreme Court justices, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elena Kagan, prayed at the synagogue on Yom Kippur alongside Congress members and former US ambassador to Israel Martin Indyk. Current US Ambassador to Israel Dan Shapiro belongs to the congregation as well. Late prime minister Yitzhak Rabin celebrated his son's bar mitzvah at the synagogue, which was also visited several times by late prime minister Golda Meir.
According to the Washington Post, in the six years since Rabbi Steinlauf began serving as the synagogue's leader, he has pumped energy into it with efforts aimed at both more traditional and progressive Jews.
In his letter to the congregation of 1,420 households, he wrote openheartedly: "With much pain and tears, together with my beloved wife, I have come to understand that I could walk my path with the greatest strength, with the greatest peace in my heart, with the greatest healing and wholeness, when I finally acknowledged that I am a gay man."
'I denied this uncertain aspect of myself'
Steinlauf said he had coordinated the move with his wife, Rabbi Batya Steinlauf.
"While I struggled in my childhood and adolescence with a difference I recognized in myself, that feeling of difference did not then define my identity, much less the spouse I would seek," he wrote. "I sought to marry a woman because of a belief that this was the right thing for me. This conviction was reinforced by having grown up in a different era, when the attitudes and counsel of adult professionals and peers encouraged me to deny this uncertain aspect of myself.
"I met and fell in love with Batya, a wonderful woman who loved and accepted me exactly as I am. Together, we have shared a love so deep and real, and together we have built a loving home with our children--founded principally on the values and joys of Jewish life and tradition. But my inner struggle never did go away. Indeed, Batya herself has supported me through this very personal inner struggle that she knew to be the source of great pain and confusion in my life over decades.
" These are great upheavals in my personal life, as in Batya’s and that of our children. But it is plain to all of us that because of my position as Rabbi of Adas Israel, this private matter may also have a public aspect.
"I am most grateful for the support Adas’ lay leaders and clergy have provided my family and me in the short time since I brought this matter to their attention.
Synagogue President Arnie Podgorsky added in his own letter to the congregants, "Our synagogue is strong, large, and inclusive–a big tent with room and respect for all. Rabbi Steinlauf, along with the rest of the clergy, will continue to advance new paths to Torah, making Judaism and its tools for a beautiful life more accessible for more Jews."
