"I came home and didn't even have my own room to cry quietly. I wanted to bury myself in the ground"
Precisely when Sofia Mechetner decided to give a second chance to the fashion world that she took by storm a decade ago, the war broke out. Although she managed to take part in desirable campaigns, she was also fired from a job just because she was Israeli, while receiving rude comments from people in the industry. Now, one of Israel's successful models explains why she took a long hiatus, what broke her heart and why her mother still chooses to work in cleaning.
Ten years after her meteoric rise in the fashion world - a 14-year-old girl from Holon who just happened to be in the area and was put on the Dior runway show in Paris in a sheer white dress - Sofia Mechetner, in a more mature and conscious version of herself, returns to pose in front of the camera. At the age of 24, after three dark years that included heartbreak, loneliness and emotional eating, she flew for a week to pose for Karl Lagerfeld in New York and Abercrombie & Fitch in London.
Did it happen amid the war?
"Just before the war, I caught my agent, who had already given up on me, and told her that I wanted to return," she says. "It was the first time in my life that I wanted to model, I probably had to gain weight and get comments like 'you don't deliver the goods' to understand how much I missed and wanted it. The agent started sending my latest photos to clients, but October 7 changed the plans for us a bit. When the airspace re-opened I talked to my agents again, both in Israel and abroad, saying: 'I got back to myself, I feel at my peak and from now on it's out of my hands, but in yours. You are the ones who will close the contracts."
And then you picked two international campaigns simultaneously?
"No," she clarifies, "I flew to New York, to pose for Karl Lagerfeld, and while being there, they informed me that I was going on to London. I was thrilled."
Weren't you afraid to fly at a time when global opinion of Israel was so negative?
"When I was already packed and ready to go, I had no idea how low Israel's status in the world had reached. I always identified myself as Israeli, and I got used to getting responses like 'we thought you were Ukrainian or Russian.' After clarifying that I had Russian parents but was born in Israel, people were more intrigued, asking me if I served in the army, if I held a weapon; most people in the industry haven't got a clue about Israel, they think we live in tents in the desert."
This time the situation was different. "On the first day in New York, when I was asked where I was from, I instinctively replied 'Israel'. I expected responses of support and sympathy, but all I got were expressions of contempt. I was angry at them and at myself, saying 'why was it so urgent for me to say that I was from Israel?', but I got over it quickly. It's true, we're at war and it's a difficult time and the world is condemning Israel, but I don't care about them. My friends are fighting in Gaza, and I have no reason to apologize. The next day, when I arrived at the set, I suddenly heard people saying 'Hey, what's going on?' It turned out that the shooting team included two former Israelis, a stylist and someone who worked in production."
Did it make it easier for you?
"Very much so. I felt that they could relate to what we were going through. They asked me how I was coping, how was my family, and I told them that after October 7, I didn't get out of bed for a month. I was still living with my mother at the time, in an apartment which does not have a safety room, each time a warning siren was sounded we would go out to the staircase; and when I saw the terrorists' vans in Sderot I was petrified. After all, they could have reached Holon. For a month I was afraid to go downstairs to throw away the garbage."
But the sense of security she was having while in the Big Apple dissipated once she arrived in the UK. "It was really tough in London. There were demonstrations everywhere on the streets, and I was afraid to get outside the hotel. When I saw the Palestinian flag flying on one of the houses, I started running. And on the set, when I said I was from Israel, the hairdresser looked at me with disdain and said he had already heard what the IDF was doing in Gaza."
Did you answer him?
"No, because I know nothing about politics, I'm ignorant of this, I admit. So, I focused on my work and counted down the minutes until I flew back to Israel."
The renowned fashion producer Motty Reif said recently that none of the international fashion houses wanted to get involved with Israeli models.
"I'm cautious about making generalizations, but that's what it feels like. Recently I got another job, in Los Angeles, fashion shooting for some local unfamiliar brand. When the date of the shooting was approaching and they realized that I was supposed to fly in from Israel, they decided to drop it. They told me, 'At the moment we don't work with Israelis'. This is far beyond rejection for qualification reasons; it's a rejection that stems from antisemitism and discrimination."
How did you react?
"I said: 'It's a bummer, but shove it. If you don't want to work with an Israeli model, it's your loss'."
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"I'm not familiar with the details, but ever since I got out of my private crisis I believe that if something is not meant to be mine, it will not be mine.' Our country is very small, I think I've already done everything here, or most of it, and that's why I want to work for L'Oréal, it's the top, and Victoria's Secret is of course every model's dream."
If you weren't Israeli, would you be more successful?
"I'm not someone else and I don't want to be someone else."
I wanted to become a doctor
Mechetner is starting a new chapter in her life. She still lives in a rented apartment, still in Holon, still lives near her mother, who still works in cleaning, but also a fifteen-minute drive from Rishon-LeZion College of Management, where she is starting to study, just in case this comeback doesn't bring her back to the top.
Do you sometimes look back?
"I do, you bet I do, and not only do I not regret anything, I would have done it all over again - now, at an age where I'm more aware, understand and know things and I'm more present. At the age of 14, I was immature, I was just going with the flow, I did what I was told to do, and I had no say; I didn't even know what it was to model. Even after the first runway show, in Paris, I didn't consider modeling as an option, certainly not as an aspiration in life. I had other dreams."
Such as?
"I was hooked on 'Grey's Anatomy' and wanted to be a doctor. In elementary school I attended a course for young doctors, we worked in a safari, and I performed surgery on pigs' hearts. Maybe someday I'll get to study medicine, maybe in the next life. I had to help my mother financially, and that's what I did. I was the neighborhood babysitter, and also cleaned staircases with my mother. At the same time, I kept growing taller, I was always taller than everyone, and when I reached 5'11 feet I prayed that my growth would stop because I was afraid that I wouldn't find a guy taller than me. And people always asked me why I didn't go to play basketball or model."
So why didn't you?
"I knew that I was not good at basketball, so I decided to give modeling a chance, thinking 'what do I care? It doesn't require too much besides finding an agent. At the time I was working in a grocery store near my house, and one day my boss said to me 'I know someone by the name of Roberto Ben Shushan (model agent), he lives nearby, why don't you go meet him and see what he has to offer you?' So, I went there, and we signed a contract. Roberto sent me to audition for Castro, but they declined, telling me that I was too young for the runway. I was 12-13. Truly a baby. When an agency from Paris invited me over for a meeting, Roberto didn't want me to go there alone. He asked Rotem Gur, who worked at his agency to accompany me."
And the rest is history, or if you want to call it - a modern Cinderella fairy tale. Mechetner and Gur were walking down one of the streets of Paris disappointed due to a canceled audition, they entered a Dior store and ran into the label’s creative director Raf Simons. "Rotem studied fashion design at the time and was familiar with brands and names. I had no idea; I watched SpongeBob on Nickelodeon. When Gur recognized the designer, she didn't hesitate and asked to have a picture with him, and then went on introducing me to him, 'I'd like you to meet my model, you should hire her'. The same day they called and invited me to an audition in front of Raf Simons' team. Two weeks later I signed a contract."
A contract of one million shekels per year
"I'm not discussing numbers, that's what was published. But the important thing is that he chose me to open the Dior runway Fall show."
Were you excited?
"Of course, very much so, but I didn't really understand the magnitude of all this. As far as I was concerned I had to 'perform a task'. If it happened to me today I would be a thousand times more excited."
One show turned your whole life upside down
"Yes, or at least it made a twist in the plot. I returned to Israel and was in shock. A girl from Holon asked to give interviews by all the media channels. I was asking myself 'Why? Who am I and what did I do?' When I was interviewed again and again, I simply did my job. It was the best way to help my family financially. I was happy that I could help my mother; from the moment I started earning money, she could finally smile. I don't remember seeing her smile when I was a child."
These days, as part of the college registration process, Mechetner returned to Herzog High School in Holon to collect her matriculation certificate. "My lowest score in matriculation is 80. I'm really proud of myself for insisting on studying, despite all the flights and absences. On the flights I would sit and study, and at home I hit the books. And as soon as I started earning money I could afford lessons with a private teacher."
Why does your mother continue to work in cleaning?
"She no longer cleans staircases, but apartments, because she's good at it and loves it. She says it makes her calm and relaxed. She likes getting into a messy apartment and tidying it up. In the past, she did it to make a living, and we hardly saw her. She would go from one apartment to the other, working until late at night, but that was until I managed to help her out. Today she is 51 years old, really young, and finally, she's starting to enjoy life. She took NLP lessons, she's a professional acupuncturist, she has taken a lot of courses, and also made a big makeover. I love to see how she's changed."
Love made me talk nonsense
Mechetner served in the IDF as an education NCO at a military base near her home. "I already had a car but didn't want to stand out, so I would park it outside the gate and walk inside. I tried to be like everyone else, an ordinary soldier, I didn't want to be treated as privileged. I stayed at the base for the weekend, did kitchen tasks, like 'there was nothing different about me', but despite all the efforts, I felt that all eyes were on me."
At the same time, she decided to get officially converted to Judaism. "I signed up for the Nativ (Jewish identity program) course, I started studying, and the more I deepened into the process, the more I felt that I was ready to do everything to become Jewish. However, modeling and conversion do not fit together, and they made it clear to me from the beginning. I even decided to freeze my career until the conversion process was completed, but it did not work out."
Why?
"When I was admitted to the course, they didn't know I was a model, although I never hid it. In the army I was deemed an 'active artist', so whenever I had to get out, the army would allow me. Since I flew a lot and missed many classes, this 'secret' was revealed. When I was told that even if I give my hundred percent they (Chief Rabbinate) would fail me in the exams because I used to be a model, I realized it was a lost battle. I said, 'thanks but no thanks' and quit the conversion program."
How important is it to you to get the certificate?
"Not very much, to be honest. There is no mention of religion on my identity card because I am neither Jewish nor Christian, as I was not baptized, and my father is Jewish. I was born in Israel and grew up here and I feel Jewish in all aspects; I celebrate Jewish holidays and this is the only reality I know. Maybe I could convert in the future, on one occasion or another, and even if the rabbis refrain from converting me, I'll be fine. Moreover, I like my name, I don't need to get a Hebrew name like Ruth."
For four years, from the bittersweet age of 16, she's been in a relationship with Tomer Telias, a football player and a model who served in the IDF in the same military base as she did. She moved to his parents' house in Yehud, close to the base, and his mother treated her as her own daughter. "At Tomer's house, for the first time in my life, I had a private room. It was a great, blinding love. The fashion industry also considered us a power couple, and love made me talk nonsense. For example, at the age of 17 I said I wanted to marry Tomer and have children back-to-back."
So, what happened?
"Life happened. As soon as I finished the army service I flew to New York with a one-way ticket. Every model waits for the day when she finishes school and military service in order to fly to New York and make it big. When I got there I felt like I was living the dream. I, Sofi from Holon, who had her first passport only at the age of 14, was going to conquer the Big Apple! Tomer wanted to join me, we planned to move in together, but it didn't work out and we broke up; we were four years together. Today, when I look back, I am less excited about our love. It seems like an innocent and stupid first love."
A minute later he was already dating Nibar Madar.
"Every breakup is hard, let alone breaking up in front of the whole country, and seeing your boyfriend going out with someone else a month after you broke up is the hardest thing ever. And I was away, staying on a different continent, without my friends nor my mother to comfort me. I pulled myself together, saying 'It's not the end of the world, you won't break, you're not someone who breaks easily', and indeed I got over it. I set my mind to work, I posed for Tommy Hilfiger, Urban Outfitters and Zara, it was a really good time for me professionally. My work was fulfilling, and each time I got a campaign it was as if I was saying to Tomer 'look what you lost', but at the end of the workday I would watch Israeli TV, seeing Tomer and Nibar at 'Guy Pines' Show, and I would eat ice cream and feel like I was worth nothing."
It's only natural and human to feel that way
"I remembered that I once got hit in the leg, I went to the doctor and he prescribed me rest days. So, I told myself that now my soul needs rest. After spending six months in New York, I decided to return to Israel, among other things to collect my stuff from Tomer's; and in Israel of all places, I felt even lonelier. I considered his family as it was mine, his friends were no longer my friends, and moving in back to my mother's house after I had left it, was not easy at all. Until I started modeling, we lived in a three-room apartment - a living room, a room for my mother, and one room for the three children. Then I managed to relocate them to a five-room apartment, but at that time my mother rented a four-room apartment, because of me; I was the one who suggested she should spare the fifth room because I was living with Tomer, and was planning to go to New York, and it was a waste of money. Basically, I would come home, and I didn't even have my own room to cry quietly. I wanted to bury myself in the ground. I managed to make it through the day thanks to my amazing friends, friends from the army, from the agency, from life."
How did Robert and Rotem - who became partners in the R&R agency that represents you in Israel – deal with the fact that you spent your time resting?
"There was no official conversation about 'where do we go from here?' I told Rotem, 'I don't feel like modeling, do me a favor and don't offer me any work.' After six months of recovery in Israel, I felt the dark days were behind me and decided to go back to New York, to continue from where I left off. I managed to pull it off, I was back, but it didn't work out the way I anticipated because I gained weight. Food was my comfort. I love sweets, I would eat lots and lots of chocolate, so, no one offered me a job. When I was in New York the first time I felt very much alone; the second time I got there it was a healing experience for me. I met many Israeli students who hosted me and made sure I would enjoy it there, and to this day we are like family; but in terms of work, things didn't work out as much. When your work involves your looks, and everyone feels free to criticize you, it adversely affects you and undermines you. You may lose a modeling campaign because of an extra 2 inches on the waist. I thought I had already developed a thick skin, but I was wrong, it did affect me. It was insulting."
And while her career was not going as expected, Mechetner discovered that her visa validity expired. "I had to return to Israel to renew it. I arrived in Israel, and my friends who had just been released from the army offered me to join them on a post-army trip to Central America. We were in Mexico, Costa Rica and Panama; we planned to visit also Colombia, but I broke my left leg in Panama. At the local hospital, I was informed that I had to go into surgery to reconnect the bone. I called the insurance company in Israel, and they said, 'according to the x-ray, you really should go through surgery, but you'd better do it in Israel'". I was flown in a wheelchair, and here it was decided that surgery was not necessary. For two months, I walked with a brace and suffered a slight depression. I was so upset I didn't visit Colombia. Man plans, G-d laughs."
Energy of a new start
Returning from the trip was not easy. "I was not sure what I was going to do next with my life and whether modeling was my vocation. As a 24-year-old model, I needed a plan B. I decided to go study but realized that there was no particular subject that interested me because I hardly knew myself. As a child, I was busy surviving and had no time to think about what I wanted to do when I grow up; in the last ten years I've been focusing on work; I didn't go to scouts, I didn't have any hobbies, I didn't know what I was good at and at what I wasn’t ."
After enrolling in a degree in behavioral sciences at the College of Management ("It seems interesting, but we'll see") she looked for her dream apartment in Tel Aviv and found it in Holon. "I really wanted to host, and I have a rooftop of about 1,000 sq. ft., ten minutes away from my mother, a fifteen-minute drive from college. It's exciting, I feel the energy of a new start. My moving out to a place of my own and being apart from my mother brought us even closer together. She comes to my place, I go to hers. The relationship with my brother and sister has also improved since I got off their back."
Now, being more mature, she plans to give the fashion world a second chance. "I felt I still belonged there and if I didn't hurry I might miss out. I started training four times a week, eating properly, whic's always been a challenge for me. I've been on it for eight months and it worked because I did it for myself, not because I was criticized nor because Rotem forced me. She's stopped nagging me; she asks me to 'do what makes me feel good."
And what makes you feel good?
"I have many friends and hobbies, I like to read, go for walks on the beach, play tennis and go bowling; I also like to bake, and listen to music, I like to drive, I can sit down and drive for hours with no destination."
Simultaneously, she is considering new goals, and some would say predicted goals. "In the past, when people suggested that I take acting classes, saying that 'a model who becomes an actress is a must', I said that I didn't want it. The truth is that I was embarrassed studying in a group, I was afraid to make a fool of myself. Today at the age of 24, I no longer dwell on my lack of confidence. I simply know that every failure and challenge makes me stronger. For the past year, I've been taking acting classes, with another model from the agency, and now I believe I'm confident enough to study in a group as well."
And what about love?
"I'm in the beginning of a new relationship, the first time since I broke up with Tomer; it's been five months now. I'm having a good time; but I don't want to talk about him too much. He's 25 years old, British-Israeli, studies economics, and makes me happy. What more could I ask for?"
What would you say to the person you were ten years ago, when you happened to walk the runway in a sheer white dress?
"Get ready to work hard, nothing will come easily, give your hundred percent, and there's plenty of time to rest in the grave."