When discussing difficulties in breastfeeding, most commonly, issues such as engorgement, pain, cracked nipples, and low milk supply are mentioned. However, there is another crucial aspect that deserves attention, which is its impact on sexual desire and intimate relationships between partners.
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Yes, after childbirth, especially during the postpartum period, which lasts about six weeks, many women do not feel the need or ability for intimacy with their partners. There are several reasons for this. The first factor is the bond that forms between the mother and her baby, which often demands all her attention and energy. This period of bonding with the baby and responding to their needs is crucial for the baby's development and is natural and desirable.
The second reason is physiological. After childbirth, a woman may suffer from stitches, soreness, and wounds in the perineum, leaving her feeling fatigued and experiencing changes in body image. Additionally, hormonal levels in women are significantly affected post-birth. The partner must be attentive and patient, finding alternative ways to provide her with feelings of love and closeness.
Does breastfeeding reduce your sexual desire?
Yes, and several hormonal changes contribute to this. During breastfeeding, estrogen levels in the body significantly decrease, leading to vaginal dryness and discomfort during intercourse. Additionally, lower levels of progesterone and testosterone can diminish sexual desire. The hormone oxytocin, released during breastfeeding and sexual satisfaction, may provide women with a sense of fulfillment that reduces the need for sexual relations. The love and closeness with the baby fulfill similar emotional needs.
Can breastfeeding also affect a man's sexual drive?
Yes. Some men may fear causing harm or discomfort to their partner, especially if they were present during the baby's delivery. As a result, they may view the woman more as a mother and less as a romantic partner. However, this is often temporary, and as the woman's sexuality returns, she regains her rightful place in the eyes of her partner. Giving time for this adjustment is crucial. In most cases, couples resume a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship within a few months.
Can breasts produce milk during sexual intercourse?
Yes, it is a very common phenomenon. Milk production is a result of oxytocin release. If it becomes disruptive, nursing before engaging in sexual activity or using a nursing bra and nursing pads can be helpful.
Do breasts become less sensitive to sexual stimulation during breastfeeding
Certainly. Breastfeeding can cause soreness or a decrease in sensitivity. It's essential to acknowledge this and communicate with your partner to avoid feelings of disappointment or frustration from either of you.
So what can you do?
You wait. Assuming you were breastfeeding for 6 months, at this point, you are starting to integrate solid foods into the infant's nutrition, thus the frequency of breastfeeding is dropping which could lead to a few positive outcomes:
- Hormone levels are beginning to return to normal.
- The sensation in the nipples is coming back.
- The breasts are no longer producing milk during intimacy.
- The breasts are smaller and lighter compared to the early months of breastfeeding, and you feel like you're regaining yourself.
- You are starting to spend more extended periods away from your baby, allowing you to invest more in yourself and your relationship.
- You are getting more hours of sleep. Being well-rested is a crucial factor in feeling motivated for intimacy.
The key to the success of your intimate relationship during and after breastfeeding lies in good communication with your partner. Express what feels comfortable and what doesn't, and be attentive to yourself and your partner's needs. As long as both of you have the desire to restore your intimate bond, other issues will likely resolve with time.
Yonat Ran is a midwife and coordinator of women's health in the Meuhedet Healthcare Fund Nursing Division