We all keep secrets: from our spouses, our parents, our children, our boss or business partners, from friends. Whether it is a financial or emotional secret, business or family secret - there are those who will do anything to reveal it. Our secrets are their profession.
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"Women and men who are suspicious of their partners turn to me," says Simba Drucker, a private investigator who has been specializing in marital investigations for 25 years. "They come because they feel that something is going wrong in the relationship, usually due to a change in their partner's behavior."
Drucker explains that suspicion begins with two types of signs: physical and behavioral. "Suddenly the husband stops noticing his wife, he goes out at odd hours, his phone is off, his mood changes, there are a lot of fights at home, they stop having sex. Sometimes there are also physical signs - Viagra pills in the wallet, smells of perfume - but usually, the behavioral signs appear first".
How do you know it's time to hire the services of a private investigator?
"When a suspicion arises, it is better to take the risk and investigate, than to be sorry for not having discovered it earlier. There are things that cheating spouses do during the betrayal period that are later difficult to fix, such as squandering or opening side accounts. Besides, a private investigation is very expensive. In an advanced stage of the betrayal, the cheating party will pay attention to the amount of money that goes out, but in the beginning, it is much easier to finance it."
How much does such tracking cost?
"Each surveillance is charged by hours, kilometers and expenses, if there are any. The price ranges between 450 to 600 NIS per hour for a team of two motorized investigators, licensed by the Justice Ministry to engage in private investigations. In addition, there is a charge of 3-4 NIS for each kilometer spent in favor of the surveillance, for each vehicle separately. The investigation office also calculates the time it takes to arrive at the starting point of the surveillance and the return time - between fifteen minutes and an hour in each direction – and charges the fee accordingly. VAT must be added to all charges. The minimum time per surveillance is four hours."
Are you approached mostly by women?
"I also have male clients, but this type of investigation is very emotional, so many women feel more comfortable talking to me about their suspicions because I am a woman. There are not many female private investigators, about 5%. I am an 'old fox.' When I started, there were only four female investigators."
What does a first meeting with a client look like?
"They cry, confused, start from the end and go back to the beginning. It takes about an hour before I manage to find out what happened. Then they ask for evidence. Both for themselves and for their future. Many times, when the woman confronts the man, he tells her that she is hallucinating, crazy, that it's all in her head. In many cases, women would rather prove they are right than break up the relationship. They want to prove that there was indeed a betrayal, that they're not delusional.
There are also financial matters for which it is necessary to prove that infidelity took place. For example, a betrayed woman is entitled to the amount of money stated in the Ketubah (a Jewish marriage contract). The Ketubah is a legal agreement for all intents and purposes. Many women are not aware of that, and they are really surprised when I tell them this."
What happens next?
"We prepare an action plan. We think about the days and hours with the highest probability that something will happen. For example, if a man works in deliveries, then most of our work will be held in the morning; if he works until 5pm, goes home and then leaves the house again - the surveillance will be in the evening. We try to direct the surveillance hours so chances are that the man will be caught, and thus we won't spend money for nothing.
The whereabouts are also important. Each surveillance involves at least two or three investigators. If it is in central Tel Aviv - you need people on a motorcycle. If you have to track a pedestrian – the investigators should blend in with people in the public space. We weigh all the information we receive and translate it into the number of investigators, the types of vehicles and the appropriate measures."
What means do you use?
"We take pictures in every possible way. There are very sophisticated means of documentation these days. I won't give them all away, but I will say that everything I have on me can be used for taking pictures. When I started off, one of the first things I fixed (equipped with a hidden camera) was a handle of a baby stroller. Everything can be equipped. Even a pet.
"Women are right in 80% of the cases and men are right in 20%. Female intuition is much better, by far. Men, often out of jealousy, imagine things that have never happened, and women usually just know"
Another important thing is to get in contact with the person you track. You can chat with him either during a morning run, or at the grocery store, at the gym. You can dance with him on a table in a bar. I would induce him, giving him the feeling that he can tell me everything. I once sat down with a lawyer and got him to tell me that he opened a business for his wife mainly to avoid paying her alimony in case of a divorce. People tell me things they would never tell anyone else."
How many of the investigations really turn out to be cheating?
"I would say 80%-20%. Women are right in 80% of the cases and men are right in 20%. Female intuition is much better, by far. Men, often out of jealousy, imagine things that have never happened, and women usually just know."
Are there cases where you know in advance that no cheating is involved?
"Yes. Last night I had a meeting with a man, and I told him, 'Drop it.' I won't do it at any cost. The small details he told me, the way he talked – I realized right away that it would be a waste of his money and time, and that it will lead nowhere. I knew he was paranoid. I have so many years of experience that I can tell if a case is justified."
Tell me about special cases.
"There was a case where we conducted surveillance due to a woman's suspicion. Her partner returned home from work every day, and in the evenings said he was going out. She was sure he had a mistress. We found out that he actually had a second job. He was ashamed to tell her that he didn't manage to earn a decent salary and therefore went to work in a kiosk in Tel Aviv. She was sure he had a mistress.
On the other hand, we had another case of a woman who suspected her partner. She thought he had met someone, and we found out much more dreadful findings. Not only did he have another wife, but he also had a son with her for a year and a half. You don't always know what you're going to find out. It was a major crisis for her."
How do you tell something like that to a client?
"I have a lot of sympathy and sensitivity for people in this situation. These are very difficult days. Until a woman receives the first proof, she is a wreck. Uncertainty is the hardest thing. It's like hanging between heaven and earth. Along with the discovery comes the strength to cope. Usually, I prefer not to tell on the phone, but in a meeting face-to-face. If the woman really insists, I insinuate but don't go into details. I would tell only in a meeting, with a lot of warmth, and support. Telling about the cheating is very difficult."
What happens after the discovery?
"I continue to accompany the clients. They receive investigation reports and documented material. In many cases, it goes on to civil and Rabbinical courts, and of course, we have to testify about what we saw and what we know. Unless it happened on Shabbat - then there is no point in documenting it, because the Rabbinical court will not accept it.
By the way, there is no obligation to present a full or partial sexual act to prove infidelity. The Rabbinical court would accept it if a woman entered a man's house and left there in the morning, the judges can assume that they have not played cards all night long."
How do people react when they are caught red-handed?
"Men usually react with a lot of respect to investigators. They would say, 'You played a trick on me, well done.' Women make a face. They curse or turn silent when they are caught. I once had a case in a quarry in central Israel. A woman I followed drove there with another man. We were pursuing them in two vehicles, and we kept a long distance so as not to be exposed, because it was quite a deserted area.
At one point, we reached a T-junction, and we didn't know which direction they were driving. I turned to the left, my partner took the right. After 300-400 meters I saw their vehicle. I took out a camera and started filming publicly because there was no other option. They blew our cover. When the man noticed me, he threw the woman away, naked, and started driving wildly in my direction until he almost ran me over. He hit my car."
Is it easier to cheat abroad?
"Absolutely not, but for a private investigator, it's far more complex and requires a lot of experience. We had many cases where we traveled together with the cheating party. We boarded the same flight, sat next to him at breakfast, went on organized trips with him.
There was a guy who was traveling abroad with his mistress. It was more complicated, because when his wife found out about it, he was already abroad, and we had to locate him. We flew two days after him and arrived at a resort town that had about 130 hotels. The first night we settled in one of the hotels and began to investigate. We narrowed down the list of possible hotels where he might stay. In the seventh hotel we checked, we found him, sitting in the pool with his mistress. If you think you can cheat abroad without being caught - think again."
First published: 23:51, 07.15.23