Rachel Goldberg-Polin and Jon Polin sit down for an intimate discussion with Felice Friedson, on the harrowing months of championing on behalf of their son, Hersh for his release from the hands of Hamas. They speak about their inner discussions away from the media, their heartbreaking challenges, and the moments of hope.
The Goldberg-Polin family are Americans who moved to Israel, having previously lived in Chicago and Virginia. Rachel is slender, composed and articulate, each word carefully crafted. Jon is tall, softer. Each has a complementary strength that has carried them through the most unthinkable path, fighting to save their child’s life.
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Hersh Goldberg-Polin with parents Rachel Goldberg-Polin and Jon Polin
(Photo: Courtesy)
On October 7, Hamas infiltrated Israel’s border with Gaza, massacring 1,200 people and taking 252 citizens and soldiers hostage. Currently, 133 hostages, alive and dead, are still being held in Gaza and possibly beyond, as a cease-fire has faltered; each day that passes brings more complexity and grave concern.
“Don’t worry about us … focus on yourself,” Rachel says in a message to Hersh, believing he knows they are leaving no stone unturned to get him home, as we discuss the message Rachel and Jon want their son to hear today.
“We have not stopped for one second in 209 days doing everything possible to bring him home, to bring home all of the hostages,” Jon says.
Jon says that if a hostage agreement is not reached, it will bring grief not just to the families of the hostages. “Everybody in the region is suffering," he explains.
He says there are leaders who are staying silent or not doing enough, but has been overwhelmed by the outpouring of “goodness in the world, from all over the world.”
“I actually think he thinks there is a whole entire universe that is fighting for him, and for all of them,” Rachel says about her son.
Jon also praised the American administration for “their availability to us, their desire to get something done. … They have been really exemplary across the board.”
They both cite the fact that, in Jon’s words, “Americans don’t like Americans – or anybody, but particularly Americans – being held hostage against their will,” and were heartened by the united front Democrats and Republicans have been taking.
Rachel notes that you don’t hear much about the other hostages being held, referring to the Christians, Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists who are among those held from 25 different countries. “I’m not sure that all of America knows the names of the eight American hostages who are still being held,” she says. Tragically three of the Americans have been confirmed dead.
Asked about their reaction to seeing the worrisome video Hamas released of Hersh, a first proof of life of their bold son who lost an arm saving others, Rachel, as a mother was visually grasping the medical condition of her son’s arm which had been severed on October 7. “You know, the mother starts to worry about those things,” she says.
Physicians reached out to the Goldberg-Polin parents to tell them that Hersh needs at least two additional surgeries immediately.
In 2014, Jon wrote an article about assistive technology for the disabled. Asked about his reaction to seeing Hersh with his severed arm on the famous visual of him bleeding and being whisked away, he says that he had done some research on the technology space called assistive technology for people with all kinds of physical and emotional disabilities. “I’m very familiar with all kinds of rehabilitation, all kinds of technology, and rehabilitation centers around the world.”
Citing contacts they have around the world in this field, their focus is to bring their son home and then get him the best care possible.
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Hersh Goldberg-Polin, lower left, seen in a bomb shelter on October 7
(Photo: Courtesy)
Rachel and Jon discuss the importance of putting the human face to the story and getting it out to the public.
Asked what questions one should or should not pose to the parent of a kidnapped person, Rachel, in despair, spoke about the pain she feels when asked “how are you.”
“Do you not see the knife that’s sticking out of my heart? Why would you ask that?” She doesn’t feel people ask the question maliciously, but “I think all of our words can be more gently crafted,” she shares with The Media Line.
As an educator who once led a trip of young people to teach about the Holocaust, Rachel remembers herself reflecting on the impossibility of the horror and addresses those who don’t believe October 7 happened. “I was actually standing in the barracks of a concentration camp in Poland, I myself was saying as I was standing in there, this can’t be real, because it was so horrible, I didn’t want to believe it,” she recalls.
“I would just like to tell them about my only son and show them the video that was made by the people who took him and show them the video by the people who are currently holding him,” she adds.
Time magazine recently named Rachel one of the 100 most influential people in the world. Rachel sees herself as a symbol and representative of the collective issue. “Rachel Goldberg doesn’t belong on that list, but the hostage crisis absolutely belongs on that list,” she says. “I am the mother of a hostage, and they couldn’t fit all the mothers of all the hostages into that little box.”
Rachel and Jon speak of missing normal family life, including moments of boredom. They miss the family time with their three children, including their two daughters, as Rachel used to sit at the table and would look at Hersh from her seat. Today she sits in Hersh’s seat so she doesn’t have to look at his empty chair. And, she says, “I haven’t cooked in 209 days.”
The couple lean on each other for strength and have become a symbol of admiration for so many. “There is not a day or a moment when I pray that I don’t thank God that it’s Jon who’s my partner," Rachel says.
"And you know, what’s interesting is I remember those first few hours where we thought Hersh was dead on the 7th. … We hadn’t seen the video. … We didn’t know anything yet. And we had this horrifying conversation. And I do remember saying, but one day, we’ll be OK because we’re together,” she also says.
She feels blessed and lucky to have Jon as her partner. “It is a completely torturous, agonizing, painful—not just emotionally, psychologically, but spiritually and physically. It is actually physically painful what we’re going through. And if I didn’t have a partner who could be really helpful in that, I don’t know what I would do.”
The hostage families are still waiting and hoping for ae hostage release to happen in an endless game of negotiations.
“I just keep … focusing on the last 30 seconds where he speaks directly to us and to our daughters. That’s the part that I’m holding,” Jon said.
You didn’t ask for the fame you’re receiving. It was thrust upon you. What have you taken away from the months of advocating for Hersh and for the other hostages that are sitting in Gaza, not sleeping in Gaza, not knowing what’s really happening?
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: Well, first of all, I don’t think that it’s fame. I think it’s being known for something that is tragically terrifying. And we see it, you know, when we are walking down the street, people see us, and they’re scared of us.
I mean, we’ve said for a long time we’re every person’s worst nightmare. And all the hostage families, you know, we have a similar sense of feeling uncomfortable in the place where we now live, which is different than the place where you live, where 99.999% of the planet lives.
And we’ve just, this is something that’s been thrust upon us and cast upon us. And we’re doing what any parent or any loved one of someone in the situation that we are in would do. It’s just a unique situation that, thankfully, most human beings don’t experience in their lifetimes.
Jon Polin: I’d also call it something different than fame. But one of the striking things for me about this all is how much goodness there is in the world. Meaning, there’s a lot of bad in the world. There are bad people who perpetrated bad things on October 7. There are bad people in the world who are saying bad things about October 7. There are leaders who are either staying silent or just, in other ways, not doing nearly enough.
But we see so much goodness in the world, from all over the world. Part of this being known is we just receive such incredible outpourings of support from Jews, from non-Jews, from Israel, from everywhere else in the world, from – everybody on the spectrum is showing us that there is a lot of goodness in the world.
Now, we all need to harness this. We need to move beyond this terrible situation we’re in. But it gives me, at the same time as we’re in the darkness, just some level of hope and optimism.
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: We were actually just talking about that last night, how grateful we are. How grateful we are that we, although we are in this indescribable trauma, we have been so deeply blessed during these 209 days.
Can you take me through the journey of the last seven months since Hersh was abducted and the world watched an extremely young man, a brave man, get into a truck with a severed bloody arm and was whisked away into Gaza?
Jon Polin: Well, something I would say about the journey is it certainly was never planned in a seven-month increment. We don’t have a plan. We get up every morning and we say, based on where we’re at today, geopolitically and every other factor, what’s the best way to spend our time today? In fact, we back up and every couple of days say, where’s the best place in the world for us to be right now? Where can our voices and our actions be most impactful? And so it’s kind of fly by the seat of our pants, pretty much at all times, with a leap of faith that what we are doing is the thing that could be the most impactful thing at that time.
We talk all the time about how there isn’t a playbook for what to do when you’ve got a loved one held in captivity in a tunnel in Gaza. And so we just really do what we think feels right at any given moment. And the key for us is that we do. Every day, we make the decision that we’re not going to just stay in bed. We’re going to get out of bed, and we’re going to go, and we’re going to take action.
We beat ourselves up a little bit, and we try not to because there’s one result that we are all shooting for. We want to release Hersh and the 132 other hostages. And we have failed to do that for 209 days.
Hopefully, somehow, somewhere, as we continue to turn over stones, we’re getting closer to accomplishing our one super clear goal.
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: You know, in the beginning, we would go to sleep, and we would, we felt completely defeated and we would say, we failed. We’re getting into bed. He’s not home. They’re not home. We failed. And we’re working so hard. So it’s this really terrible feeling of, oh my gosh, we just worked 21 hours straight, and we failed.
And I met this woman during one of the events that we had the privilege of being part of, and she shared with me that she had gone through also an ambiguous trauma, which is different than normative trauma, but we could talk about that. And she said we need to change our own internal narrative. And when you get into bed at night, you have to say, did I do every single thing today that I could do to try to save him and them? And if the answer is yes, then you don’t have to beat yourself up that they’re not home yet because you’re building something and you did do everything you could do today.
And so we’re careful about that. And there are definitely days where we get into bed, and we say we really, we did every single thing today. We did every single thing. And so, and then, and then at least we didn’t get what we wanted yet, but we know we did every single thing we could do.
And there are days where we get into bed and say, shoot, I wish we had done A and B also. You know, we did these 10, 11, 12 things, but we should have done 13, 14, 15 things.
You know, you talk about the 'we,' and this could be very traumatic for any couple. The 'we' stands out as what this has done for you, even as a couple; that’s tremendous. I can’t even, from that perspective, quite understand. I don’t think anybody could understand what the depth of events that take place in a given day that you go through together.
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: I am so grateful, and there is not a day or a moment when I pray that I don’t thank God that it’s Jon who’s my partner.
And you know, what’s interesting is I remember those first few hours where we thought Hersh was dead on the 7th. And we went into our bedroom, and we had this real conversation of both of us crying because the assumption was that he was dead. We hadn’t seen the video. We hadn’t talked to anyone who was there. We didn’t know anything yet. And we had this horrifying conversation. And I do remember saying, but one day, we’ll be OK because we’re together.
And I do, constantly, many times a day, whether it’s hearing Jon speak on behalf of Hersh or the hostages or on behalf of our family or whatever it is. And I just think I am so blessed and lucky because it is a completely torturous, agonizing, painful – not just emotionally, psychologically, but spiritually and physically. It is actually physically painful what we’re going through. And if I didn’t have a partner who could be really helpful in that, I don’t know what I would do.
So that’s another example of something where I feel blessed within this dark, torturous place that I have the right person with me.
Jon Polin: I have said, you know, people have asked, going back to your fame question, Rachel has certainly become a leading figure for hostages over 209 days. And a lot of people ask me about that. And my response every time is the world is now seeing Rachel, but I’ve known her for 40 years. And nothing that I’m seeing surprises me.
Hersh’s last words, and I think maybe to protect you, was, 'I love you, I’m sorry.' It says a lot about you. What are the words you want to say to him if he’s able to see this interview today?
Jon Polin: Well, mine are very kind of tactical, which is, I want Hersh to know that we have not stopped for one second in 209 days doing everything possible to bring him home, to bring home all of the hostages. And we are continuing to do that.
So, it’s just focus on yourself and those around you. Take care of yourself. Do what you need to do to continue to get through this on your end. And know that we’re doing and trying to lead the world to do what we need to do on our end to get you out.
We’ve met a couple of people along the way who themselves were held hostage. Different periods of time, different parts of the world, and every situation is different. But one whom we’re in touch with, his words are consistently in my head. He said I was held hostage for eight months. And every moment I was hostage, I was worried about how worried my family was for me. And I have that in my head. And when Hersh said, I’m sorry, he knew that we were going to be traumatized from whatever was about to ensue.
And so my thoughts that I send him are, don’t worry about us. Meaning, you probably should, we’re not in a great place, but we’ll handle ourselves. You just focus on yourself and don’t worry about your family.
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: I mean, I’m constantly saying to him, 'I love you, stay strong, survive. I love you, stay strong, survive.' I also say throughout the day, 'stay yourself, stay yourself, stay yourself.'
You know, use your beautiful mind. He’s always been so sharp and so bright. To just stay strong, stay alive, survive, stay yourself, and know that we’re never, ever giving up until you’re home. So, as Jon said, take care of yourself, focus on yourself.
You know, your world becomes very small when you’re being held captive like it’s a very small universe. And we’re doing the rest, and we will stay strong for him, and we will keep running. And he should. I think he does know that. I hope he knows it. I pray he knows it. But I believe he knows that we’re, and when I say we, I mean, certainly it’s us, but I actually think he thinks there is a whole entire universe that is fighting for him, and for all of them.
What has gone so very wrong with the negotiations? I mean, if you look at the timeline, the lists, the wait, the releases, again the list, the wait, the releases, where are we, and what do you think should have been done differently?
Jon Polin: I think most fundamentally, when you’re in any negotiation for anything, are the parties negotiating serious about coming to a deal, whatever that deal is? In this case, the deal happens to include hostages, and the various other components that we hear about, a lull in the military action, a complete cease-fire, I don’t know, the release of Palestinian prisoners, all the details that I only know from reading the news in the same way that everybody else knows.
There’s a set of considerations here. Are the parties engaged serious about, whatever the parameters are, getting to a conclusion that each of them can live with without it being perfect? I think that’s generally got to be the concept in almost every negotiation.
Does Hamas want to do a deal? I hope so. My understanding is there’s a pretty fair, good deal on the table right now, and I hope that they will take it.
Does Israel want to do a deal? I think so. Has it been the highest priority for 209 days? Sometimes, yes, sometimes I’m not sure.
So, I think the most fundamental part is aligning both parties to a place where the time is right and the parameters are close enough to right. That’s just been the impossible factor here. We could dissect so many other components, but I think it’s that basic.
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: I think there’s a lot of interests that get tangled. We’ve had a crash course into geopolitical tactics and motivations, and we’ve learned a lot about what seems on the surface to be obvious, and yet we understand that countries and parties have interests that are very complex, and there are tentacles that reach into different places.
What’s been so easy for us is our interest in Hersh and the other 132 hostages, so that’s very clear. It’s very easy. It’s one interest, so it kind of gives us tunnel vision, which I don’t think the other parties can have because I think other obstacles get in the way, and a lot of it then becomes a game, and a lot of it becomes theater, and a lot of it becomes posturing, and that’s very different than any of the hostages who didn’t sign up to be in this game, who didn’t sign up to be extras in a theater that they’re now so central in, and certainly the hostage families and hostage loved ones in a concentric circle that we’ve all been sucked into this vortex.
Jon Polin: I want to kind of crystallize something else here, which is, I read a book 30 years ago. It’s called “Getting to Yes.” It’s about negotiations. It’s probably still the classic book used in business school and elsewhere for negotiations.
And there is a concept called BATNA, the best alternative to a negotiated agreement. So, if you’re looking to buy a house and you want to buy house A, but you know that if you don’t, you’ll buy house B, you know there’s an alternative to that. And what I keep thinking here is not coming to a negotiated agreement is so clearly bad for all sides. Like, the motivation should be super high.
They’re suffering on both sides. There are 133 hostage families suffering. I would argue that it’s not just 133 families, but the entire country of Israel, maybe the entire global Jewish people, maybe beyond that, to know that there are innocent people who were in their beds and at music festivals being held still after 209 days. There are people suffering on the other side, innocents who have gotten caught up in this. Everybody in the region is suffering. The motivation to do a deal – I’m subjective, so it’s hard for me to say – but it sure seems like it should be pretty darn high. Let’s do a deal.
You’re both Americans, and if one hostage was taken in the United States, it’s top of the news; it’s a major ordeal. And think about the fact that there were and are other Americans taken. Do you feel that the administration, the current administration in America, is doing enough, and do you feel that the Senate and Congress are doing enough in terms of this issue?
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: You know, we have said from the beginning Hersh is also American. All three of our children are American. In fact, you know, and we talk about, we still – we pay taxes in Illinois and in Virginia. We vote in Virginia. Hersh votes in Virginia.
We have felt that this administration and Congress, both sides of the aisle, have been incredibly open, as transparent as they can be, very available, extremely respectful, extremely accessible. But ultimately, this is a binary situation, free or not free, and we have eight U.S. citizens still being held hostage, and that is problematic.
But there are other people being held in this hostage cohort that are erased from the conversations and erased from the protests that you hear around the world, and I think it does a disservice to them and an injustice to them. There are 133 hostages. They still represent 25 different nations around the world. There are Jews, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, and Buddhists. And we don’t hear about, you know, I very rarely hear about the Arab Muslims being held, or the Thai Buddhists being held, or the Nepali Hindus being held, or the black African Christians being held. I think that that is tremendously problematic.
And I do think that it’s interesting that you say the name Brittany Griner. People know who that is. You talk about Evan [Gershkovich] from The Wall Street Journal; people know who that is in America. I’m not sure that all of America knows the names of the eight American hostages who are still being held, and tragically, three of them have been confirmed dead, and we have five who are assumed to be alive, and I do think that that is something that I’m not sure why that is. I’m not; I haven’t figured that out yet.
But when we go to Washington, there is not one door we knock on that they don’t open and, again, something that especially in the beginning was super heartening for us was when congressional delegations would come and say – you’d have someone completely, a very conservative Republican putting their arm around a very progressive Democrat and saying, 'we are standing here together with you because this is not a political issue. This is a human issue, and we don’t want human beings being held, and we don’t want Americans being held, and our duty as American leaders and as an American administration, our number one duty is to make sure that our citizens are safe, and these eight citizens are not safe.'
And we have felt the support and the, not just the desire, but really the sweat and the intention and the hard work and tenacity and steadfastness of the people who are working in the American administration and Congress by the way. I don’t, because we’ve been, and I will say, you know, and there’s, in many ways, I mean – it is not at all taken for granted, and we are so grateful.
Mostly, Jon’s the point person for congresspeople and senators, who check in regularly. These are people who are very busy, and they have a lot on their plate, and we’re parents of one person. Now, for us, he’s our universe, but he’s not their universe. I don’t like to acknowledge that, but I realize that that’s the reality. And they are in touch with him every week for 209 days, and it’s incredible.
Jon Polin: I mean, just to magnify what Rachel is saying, it is not only in our case, representatives from Illinois and from Virginia, states where we live and have a connection, but there are elected officials from states where there is no connection to the hostages, none of, not one of the eight Americans is from that person’s district or state, and they are on it, and they are checking in, and they are working, because, as Rachel said, Americans don’t like Americans – or anybody, but particularly Americans – being held hostage against their will.
So until we get the result we want, we could be critical of everybody: ourselves, the Israeli government, the American government, foreign governments, because we don’t have the result yet. But when I talk about the United States, there’s not a moment where I question their availability to us, their desire to get something done, the integrity with which they’re operating. They have been really exemplary across the board.
Every day that goes by since that video of Hersh that recently was displayed by some sort of propaganda film, and you saw proof of life. Do you feel more hope each day, or do you feel more concern, or both?
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: I think it’s a mix. Obviously, it was extremely emotional and bittersweet, and a huge relief after half a year to hear his voice, to see him moving, to see his fragile medical and emotional situation. Obviously, as a parent, that’s very traumatizing.
I actually was looking at it yesterday, because I haven’t looked at it a lot, and I was watching. I closed up just on his eyes, and I can see that he’s reading, even though I think there were probably many takes, and I think he knew what he was supposed to be saying. But there are a few times where I see his eyes move, and even during the part where he’s saying I love you and he’s talking to us.
So I don’t know who wrote whatever he read, but I’ll take it. I was just, you know, I’ll take it. And if anything, none of the 133 families needs a fire lit under us to remind us that our loved ones are still in captivity, that they are not safe, that they are in compromised, fragile medical situations.
To see his arm for the first time, to have — many surgeons reached out to us and said he needs additional, at least one, probably two additional surgeries to however that healed. In terms of how do you end up with a prosthesis that can work effectively, you need a lot of rehabilitation for nerve stimulation within the first few weeks after an amputation. This has been more than half a year.
So, you know, the mother starts to worry about those things. And then, of course, the most important thing is not that. It’s, he’s alive. We have to get all of these people home. We have to stop – as Jon said, it’s not just the suffering of the 133 and their families. There are hundreds of thousands of people suffering from this. And that – I would like to believe that that is motivation for the parties involved. I don’t know if it is. I pray that it is. I want it to be.
We see all these images every single day on TV. Can that possibly be motivation for everyone involved to say ending the suffering of our people is more important than hating our enemy or hating the other? Can we get there?
Jon Polin: So many emotions about the video of Hersh that came out. Like Rachel, I know what he said throughout the video, but it doesn’t matter to me who wrote it. None of that matters to me.
I just keep in my head focusing on the last 30 seconds where he speaks directly to us and to our daughters. That’s the part that I’m holding.
I think the interesting thing is that a couple of days later, the second video came out of Omri and Keith. And collectively, as this is happening, what I think is so important is that in this kind of situation, after 209 days, it could either be dehumanized altogether or just people become numb to it. And there are 133 hostages being held. It’s so important that the human face continues to be front and center for the world, for the mediators.
We need people to understand that this is not a number. These are people. These are people who have families who are waiting for them to come home and who love them. These are people who have aspirations.
We don’t know how many are still alive, but we hope and believe that many are. They have lives to still live.
Those who aren’t alive need proper, respectful burials. These are all human beings. And I always worry that that part of the story gets lost. And that is something else that I think is so important as these videos come out, is the reminder of the human side of this situation.
You know, it came like a shockwave. There was nothing, as you know, for months. And did you ever, do you doubt any feeling that this was not authentic? What told you this is real?
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: I never even thought for a second it wasn’t authentic. I mean, it’s his voice. It’s the way that he moves. I mean, to me, it clearly was authentic in terms of, it was authentically something that was manufactured with a motivation. I don’t think that they were trying to be nice and saying, oh, here’s a gift, but I’ll take it.
What do you say and what don’t you say to a family that is going through this?
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: Something, and people have heard me say this at this point, probably thousands of times. I’m not great with when people ask, 'how are you'? Because I think that it’s audaciously inappropriate to ask someone, to walk by someone who, you know, has a knife in their heart and say, how are you?
I just… I don’t understand the question because I don’t know what they’re looking for. I realize most of the time, it’s really innocent, but I think all of our words can be more gently crafted before they come out of our mouths, in general. All the more so when you’re dealing with people who are going through immense torture.
So I started to wonder – because I do think sometimes, and I have to be more kind about it – I think when people say, how are you, they’re not trying to upset me. They really, first of all, it’s natural to say to someone, how are you? And I think that what they mean is, I’m thinking of you, and I’m with you, but they just say, how are you? But I just feel that I never know what to do with that question. I just feel confused because I think, do you not see the knife that’s sticking out of my heart? Why would you ask that? Or you don’t see the truck that’s on our chest? Why would you ask that? It seems perverse and it seems unkind, and yet I know that’s not what people mean. But for me, it’s a really hard question.
Jon Polin: I had this thought swirling in my head, and it was crystallized in a conversation with a rabbi in Bnei Brak. The two of us were sitting one-on-one in a room, and he said to me, 'I’ll bet people are saying a lot of stupid things to you.' I said, 'it’s true, they are.'
And he said they clearly don’t mean it. You’re living in a situation that is so rare. People don’t know how to speak to people who are going through what you are now going through, and so they’re uncomfortable, which I think is totally true.
And so, as it happens, I am reminded always of that. When the video came out a week ago now, so many people sent us messages saying things like, mazal tov, congratulations. Now, they meant well, and actually, we took it that way. To have a sign of life after 201 days of not knowing was worthy of Mazal tov, congratulations.
But what we so quickly had to kind of respond is it’s great. We’re not done. We’re not at the end of this journey until Hersh and all 133 hostages are home. It’s feet on the gas pedal.
I think anyone that has a son or daughter can relate to your tremendous amount of never giving up and your steadfastness. But they can’t relate to the feeling, which you spoke about earlier when you go home. When it reminds you of Hersh, everything that you see is Hersh. And looking at your home, what do you miss most? And what can you cling on to? What objects, what things give you that faith to go to the next day?
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: It’s hard to say what I miss the most. I think it’s all really little boring things.
I was thinking about it just this morning. Hersh and I used to do the crossword puzzle together, the New York Times crossword puzzle. I would do as much as I could, and then I would leave it for him, and he would fill in the rest. So, I haven’t done a crossword puzzle since October 7.
There are many things that we haven’t done since the 7th. And I was thinking about – I now sit in the seat that he used to sit in at the kitchen table, because I don’t want to sit in a seat looking at him not being in his seat. So I now sit in his seat, so then I don’t see that he’s missing.
I think I’m very protective of myself, and I try not to delve into what I miss and think too much like that because I think that it just psychologically would be very painful.
But I just long for the boring, for the nothing happening tonight. He’s sitting on the couch doing his thing on his iPad or something, and I’m cooking – I haven’t cooked in 209 days –I ’m just doing my thing. Jon’s working over at the dining table, just like normal. The girls are laying and they’re fighting over who gets the best corner of the couch. That kind of normal family moment of boredom is what I think I miss the most because there is no normalcy. And I think that that’s appropriate.
Jon Polin: The writer Gerda Weissmann Klein has written about just this. She’s written about the Holocaust and how she was going through the camps. What she wanted more than anything was a boring family night at home.
And so that’s the code in our house. We’ll say certain nights, going back to before October 7, like, do we have anything going on tonight? Or can we just have a Gerda Weissmann Klein night? Code for just a quiet family night at home.
And that’s it. We just want some Gerda Weissmann Klein nights as a family.
How are your daughters doing? And feel free to say don’t want to discuss it, whatever you’re comfortable with.
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: Look, thankfully, they are at an age when this is completely devastating, and yet they have resiliency. And they’ve both been involved in being advocates in different ways for Hersh, for the hostages. But it certainly is; I mean, this is a life-altering trauma for the rest of their lives.
And I feel bad that they have had to be maternal to me at times, which, on the one hand, I’m proud of them for having the ability to do it. And on the other hand, my heart breaks that they have to do that for their mother at their ages. But I’m really proud of them, given that this is such a unique, dark, agonizing experience, and they are walking forward.
You, personally, your career is very much intertwined with who you are, and how you speak, and what comes across. Can you share a little bit about that background? Because that’s what I see is a lot of the strength that’s coming through.
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: Well, I worked for many years as a support specialist in an English-speaking high school here in Jerusalem, giving either academic or emotional support to students, and also working at a school, an institution that does work with graduate students, in that same capacity of just giving a little bit of emotional support, lending an ear to people who were in a tough place. So, now I try to do that for myself, and for, you know, hopefully, we’ll get to do that a little bit, in some capacity for Hersh when he comes home. He’ll need much more experienced and professional help than I can give him, but as a mom, I can give it in the mom form.
You were named Rachel, as Time magazine’s – in Time magazine’s 100 (most influential people). It’s a big deal for many. I don’t know that this is what you wished upon yourself, but how does your family look at this?
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: I think we thought right away it was obvious that I was being used as a symbol for the hostage crisis, which we hoped it would bring more light, more advocacy, more awareness to the hostage crisis. I don’t think it’s clear I don’t belong on, I personally. Rachel Goldberg doesn’t belong on that list, but the hostage crisis absolutely belongs on that list, and I think that whoever is in charge of choosing who those people are felt we need to illuminate this topic. Here is someone who we can use as the symbol of the topic.
So I don’t think that it’s as, I don’t think any of us thought that it was this, oh my gosh, impressive watershed moment, because it was really just symbolic of, here is a mother, and that’s why I’m on that list. I am the mother of a hostage, and they couldn’t fit all the mothers of all the hostages into that little box, so they just chose one loved one of a hostage to represent everybody.
What do you say to those who denied October 7?
Rachel Goldberg-Polin: I didn’t even know that there are people who are denying October 7. I would be more than happy to have them come, and I would love to just tell them our story. I don’t need to convince them of anything. I would just like to tell them about my only son and show them the video that was made by the people who took him and show them the video by the people who are currently holding him. I mean, that’s how I know about what happened on October 7.
And I understand that people would want to deny something horrible happening. I actually was an educator for a trip to teach young people about the Holocaust, and when I was actually standing in the barracks of a concentration camp in Poland, I myself was saying as I was standing in there, this can’t be real, because it was so horrible, I didn’t want to believe it.
So, I actually have some empathy for people who don’t want to believe that October 7 happened, because no one wants to believe that the absence of humanity could have been so deep and so real.
Jon, I read an article that you wrote about assistive technology for the disabled. When you saw your son with this disability, what was your reaction, knowing that you had been involved in this field before?
Jon Polin: Right. So it’s true. I’ve done some research on the technology space called assistive technology for people with all kinds of physical and emotional disabilities. Through that, I’m very familiar with all kinds of rehabilitation, all kinds of technology, and rehabilitation centers around the world.
I have hardly thought about what any of that is going to mean. We will make sure that Hersh gets the best rehabilitation, both physical and emotional, that a person can get. And if that’s in Israel, it’s in Israel. If it’s in the United States, it’s in the United States. We happen to have contacts in that world through my work. And we’ve had people from both countries already calling us saying, let’s focus on bringing him home. And once we do, we’re going to get him the best care.
In some ways, it’s even a little bit of a friendly competition. I’ve got politicians in Israel and politicians in the US saying, let’s get him home. And then we’re going to care for him. It’s a good problem to have to have to think about which is going to be the best possible rehab for him.
But it is something that is independent of Hersh. It’s been near and dear to my heart, this whole notion or the whole world of technologies that improve people’s lives, physically and emotionally.
You’ve been involved in technology. Could you just elaborate a little bit so people understand? Are you even working now, and what do you do?
Jon Polin: So I have been mostly in the high-tech world. And I was in the midst. I’ve started a couple of companies, sold one company, and was in the midst of starting something new just for the period of time before October 7, and that is totally on ice.
We talked about how blessed we’ve been. One of those components is financial. We’ve had people around the world saying you need to focus all of your attention and time on bringing Hersh home. And they’ve given generously in all kinds of ways, including financially, so that right now, thankfully, we can do this. We can focus all of our attention on Hersh without being stressed about the other things in life, including financially. It’s a testament to the community that surrounds us.
And the final question is, what do you say to those who deny October 7?
Jon Polin: My answer is similar to Rachel’s, which is we didn’t film the video of Hersh being abducted, bleeding with an arm missing, and put on a truck taken towards Gaza. That film was taken from one of the perpetrators of that. So, I don’t expend much energy into trying to convince anybody that October 7 happened.
It disturbs me to hear murmurs that there are voices out there that say that. I don’t spend a lot of time or energy thinking about or addressing that issue. There are so many things that I think, once we get Hersh home and get him rehabilitated, that need to be addressed in the world, and that maybe we will have some relevant voice to play in that.
But I’m not going there right now. Thank you.