The late Yagev Buchshtab, brother of Nofar Buchshtab, was kidnapped on October 7 from his home in Kibbutz Nirim with his wife, Rimon. Rimon returned in the hostage deal, while Yagev survived in captivity for many months until he was murdered.
"I think that something about how it ended for us brings with it, beyond pain, loss and bereavement, also a sense of missing out," says Nofar. "We could have brought him home and we failed as a family and as a country. So I continue the fight because I don't want to see more families in my situation, more hostages ending their lives like Yagev and others."
Nofar Buchshtab, 30, is one of many family members of hostages who continue the struggle, even though their loved ones have returned home or were murdered in captivity. "We went into this struggle with 251 families, and this is how we will end it," she says. "When Yagev was alive we thought about what would happen if others returned before him. I knew I would want them to continue the struggle with me, and I had no doubt that I would too."
'Fighting for values'
Some 251 Israelis were kidnapped on October 7. One hundred are still in captivity and 151 returned in deals and military rescues, some alive and some deceased. And yet, even the family members whose loved ones returned to Israel for burial are not taking their feet off the gas.
"I fought shoulder to shoulder with the families of the hostages," explains Chen Avigdori, 54, who was able to hug his wife and daughter after they were returned in the deal. "I can't look them in the eye and say, 'Mine was released, thank you very much.' I call everyone in the families of the hostages my brothers and sister."
"Obviously, I have a kind of feeling of guilt, but I also know that the way my story ends gives hope. Beyond that, in my opinion, this is the most important public struggle in the history of the country. We are fighting for the values that we were raised on," he adds.
"There was no hesitation in continuing to fight," says Inbar Goldstein, 36, who fought for 51 days for her sister-in-law Chen Almog Goldstein and her niece and nephews, Gal, Tal and Agam. Inbar's brother, Nadav, was murdered with his oldest daughter, Yam. Even today, Inbar continues to fight for the other hostages who are still in captivity.
"It's not over for anyone. There's something unfair about it. What, will I leave them alone? My family is most important to me, but politically it's no more important than anyone else. In the end, we're all one family," she says.
But there are a few that are especially important to her. "I only got to know the Angerst family, the family of Matan, who is in captivity, after my own family returned. Before that, I wasn't focused on getting to know people around me. There was some mistake in the information that they received and they contacted me to find out something and it went deep into my heart. There's something noble, quiet, determined and sharp about them. They are people with kind eyes and I simply love them. It's a shared destiny that a stranger wouldn't understand," she explains.
There is no jealousy, there is a smile
Nofar Buchshtab is among a group of young advocates from hostage families, including Mor Korngold, the brother of Tal Shoham. Like Nofar until recently, Korngold is a younger sibling now fighting tirelessly for the release of his older brother.
"I would very much like to be in Mor's place," says Nofar sadly, "but mostly I want their story to be better. I imagine the moment when Tal returns and I don't feel jealous, I smile. Sometimes I say to myself, wait, maybe I don't belong anymore? Maybe I have nothing to do with this action, or this meeting, but the voices from the families are the opposite: 'We need you to continue with us, you have a place with us.' It's scary to be left alone."
"There's a lot of talk in the war about survivor's guilt," says Inbar Goldstein. "When we were just starting out, and they were still in Gaza, a lot of people felt survivor's guilt. Then my family came back, and I discovered what survivor's guilt is, the guilt of those who returned, of returning alive. That's also one of the reasons why no one leaves this struggle even after their story is over."
The first is on board, second and third are with us’: footage from underbelly of helicopter during rescue of hostages Shlomi Ziv, Andrey Kozlov and Almog Meir Jan from the Gaza Strip
(Video: IDF Spokesperson’s Unit)
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The reports of a possible deal are also affecting them. "We are once again in the yes/no hostage release deal talk that is driving the mind crazy," Goldstein continues, "and it is clear to us that here too the struggle will not end. Earlier this week I met Yifat, the mother of the late Inbar Heyman. I promised her that no one is giving up on Inbar, that I will not give up. Giving up on them is giving up on us, and I am not willing to give up. Even families like mine, whose story is 'closed', who could have said a year ago: 'Thank you very much, goodbye'; we are not going anywhere."
"The struggle now and before is no different, the goal is the same goal," concludes Chen Avigdori. "The messages are the same messages, and I may no longer be anxious for my loved ones, but I am anxious for Liri and Tal Shoham and Omer Wenkert and Omer Shem Tov as I am anxious for my child. This is the struggle and I will continue to be a part of it until the last captive."