A viral TikTok video created by Kati Morton, a therapist, brought attention to the concept of "eldest daughter syndrome," describing signs such as feeling responsible for the family, people-pleasing tendencies, and resentment towards siblings and parents.
The syndrome refers to the tendency of firstborn daughters to assume excessive caregiving responsibilities, emotional burdens, and people-pleasing behaviors within their families from a young age, often acting as a "third parent" and taking on domestic labor.
Eldest daughters are said to take on a parental role, acting as "bonus parents" and bearing significant financial and emotional burdens for their siblings, which can lead to feeling emotional weight, struggling with setting boundaries, a need for control, perfectionism, and an anxious attachment style in romantic relationships.
While some studies suggest a link between birth order, prenatal stress, and early maturation in firstborn daughters, research on the direct influence of birth order on personality traits remains inconclusive, and the syndrome is influenced by individual differences and societal gender expectations.
While research on its effects on psychology is mixed, eldest daughters collectively realize they have a lot in common, prompting support groups and spaces like the Eldest Daughter Club for validation, understanding, and healing.
Mental health professionals caution against overemphasizing the impact of birth order on personality stressing that the "eldest daughter syndrome" is not an official mental health diagnosis and may be influenced by gender norms.
This article was written in collaboration with Generative AI news company Alchemiq
Sources: CBS News, Vogue, Health, Parents, Today, The Everygirl, The New York Times.