On the morning of October 7, Sgt. Adir Tahar, 19, went to fight against dozens of terrorists who breached the Erez Crossing. He fought alongside his comrades from the 13th Battalion of the Golani Brigade until he was killed by an anti-tank missile.
Staff Sgt. Alroy Ben Shitrit, 20, fell in the heroic battle at the surveillance balloon launchers' base in Nahal Oz. On Sunday, their families marked 11 months without them, according to the Hebrew calendar. Since the beginning of the war, 702 IDF soldiers have fallen—340 of them in October alone, with seven more in the last four days.
The daily recitation of the Mourners' Prayer, or Kaddish, which is performed by a child for a father or by another family member if there are no children, ends at the end of the 11 month after the death.
Adir was supposed to celebrate his 20th birthday a month after he fell in battle alongside many of his friends. "We celebrated it here, at Mount Herzl," his father, David Tahar, said, who visited his son's grave in Jerusalem on Sunday. "These have been the hardest 11 months of my life, and I’ve been through a lot. Nothing compares to this. I miss Adir the most on Shabbat and holidays. When I see the rift in our nation, I think of Adir. Sometimes I feel like my son fought and died for nothing."
"I have a son who’s supposed to join the Duvdevan unit in the coming months," David continued, "but I ask myself—with all the internal conflicts we have—does it really make sense for him to join the army? For me, this is one of the biggest struggles of these 11 months. At first, I told him, 'Yes, of course, follow in your brother’s footsteps.' But now, I wonder if I made the right choice, especially because of the internal rift."
David visits the grave in the military section almost every day, sometimes even at night. "There are always people here," he said. "Mostly families of fallen soldiers, but also civilians who just come to pay their respects. This is the beautiful side of Israel. We have very good people among us. On the other hand, I feel like we haven’t learned anything. What breaks my heart is that this section will fill up. We’re filling up the sections while people argue. These arguments on social media weaken us instead of strengthening us. But we are a strong nation, and I wish for us to overcome our divisions, save ourselves, and be worthy of the children who have fallen."
This Thursday, the Ben-Shitrit family will hold a memorial marking 11 months since their son, Staff Sgt. Alroy Ben Shitrit fell in the battle at Nahal Oz. "The pain deepens with each passing day," his father, Rafi, shared. The memorial will be held in the military section of the Beit She'an cemetery, with family, friends, his unit comrades, and city residents in attendance. "For us, every day is Memorial Day," said Rafi. "I don’t need a ceremony to remember Elroi. He’s with us every moment, every hour, everywhere. We remember his bravery, values, humility, and character, and it’s important for us to spread his spirit and light wherever we can."
"Mentally and emotionally, I’m still stuck in that same Shabbat," Rafi added. "Nearly a year has passed, but every day is hard on its own. I’m fully invested in activities and memorial projects: we produced a book in Elroi’s memory that’s distributed in schools and public institutions, inaugurated a music classroom at the ORT Avitar Yeshiva High School where he studied, and in his elementary school, we dedicated a kitchen in his honor. His two main hobbies were music and culinary arts, and we chose to commemorate both at the schools where he studied in Beit She'an."
"Elroi was a gifted graphic designer and a professional in digital media, and the next memorial project is to inaugurate a computer classroom focused on graphic design, artificial intelligence, and visual communication," noted Rafi, who gives lectures at high schools, yeshivas, and communities across the country.
"I can’t believe it’s been 11 months already. The sense of time has changed for us. We miss him so much, but we’ve chosen to grow and engage in spreading light from our pain and suffering, and to tell the story of Elroi’s bravery and that of his friends. Knowing that he returned fire, fought to his last drop of blood, and saved the lives of others gives us the strength to keep him present in every moment and every place."