"We lost an exceptional soldier, we lost Amsalem," said Avichai's commander after he died. I thought to myself, there's no way Hamas wins and there's no soldier Amsalem; there was a soldier Amsalem, and now there isn't? I am a soldier Amsalem," shares Shira Emuna Amsalem, sister of the late Master Sergeant (Res.) Avichai Amsalem, who fell in battle in the south a year ago. Despite dealing with a chronic lung disease, Shira Emuna chose to enlist in the IDF following her younger brother's death. She joined the Military Rabbinate at the age of 35.
Avichai Amsalem was called up for reserve duty on October 8 and fell the next day, October 9, during an encounter with terrorists who had infiltrated and planned an attack. His father, Col. Gabi Amsalem, also joined the reserves in the Military Rabbinate at the start of the war. During the conflict, he was promoted from lieutenant colonel to colonel by the IDF Chief of Staff.
Shira Emuna serves in the Military Rabbinate in the Jewish Consciousness Values department located near Lod, in central Israel – the military base where many bodies from the October 7 massacre were taken.
"This year was complex," she reflects. "I think the first year of mourning brings various challenges, experiencing everything for the first time: his birthday, every holiday without him. We threw ourselves into many commemorations, and everyone started to find their place. It was a year of waves, with many ups and downs."
Gabi Amsalem knows the military from the inside, but this year was different for him due to the war's scale and the personal loss: "There is life before October 7 and life after October 7. Life changes, perspectives shift. The military activity helps me keep my head above water in this situation imposed on us."
A year of longing for a brother and son turned into action for them. The family says this is how Avichai would have wanted them to act after his death. "Avichai was a very principled person. He left behind many values I lecture and discuss – values of kindness, integrity, excellence – at home, in studies, work and the army," says his father. "He always aspired to achieve more. He reached a special unit and excelled there, yet remained humble and modest. He never flaunted his achievements, and he had quite a few. In his work at Elbit, in his studies, and he never boasted about it."
After Avichai's death, his older sister sought to follow in his footsteps and eventually enlisted for reserve service as a content writer. Her enlistment was part of the "Stage B" program, which allows those who served in civilian or national service outside the military to undergo a short basic training and join the reserve force. "After 12th grade, I did national service, and I think it complements," she says. "When you're directed to help the people of Israel, you need to know your strengths. At 18, I knew what I could offer the people of Israel and what strengths I had. I was the coordinator of the Oz children's movement in the north and spent a year as an emmisary in the United States. Avichai's death caught me between jobs. My profession is writing and editing content, and there was a need here for a content writer in the unit, so I came to do what I could."
Strengthening the spirit
Initially, the IDF was hesitant to place her in a role, but Shira Emuna was determined to enlist. "When she enlisted, I felt the excitement of a father taking his child to first grade for the first time. The truth is, when she started first grade, I was the principal of her school," says the emotional father, whose daughter serves close to his office. "I helped her find a uniform, and we sent the photos to friends. Shira is known in the family for achieving the goals she sets for herself. They didn't want to enlist her, they showed her the door, she came through the window, they closed the window and she found another way in."
"All the kids in the neighborhood asked me where the rifle was, and I had to explain that my role is to encourage those in uniform," she shares. "I remember when my dad saw me in uniform for the first time, he was very emotional. For me, it’s significant because I hadn’t worn a uniform until now. I always admired soldiers I saw on the street, and now I’m in uniform. A hundred years ago, we dreamed of a Jewish army. The fact that initially they didn’t want to enlist me and I fought for it makes it even more emotional."
Why didn't you say 'We lost Avichai, we paid a heavy price, now we are focusing on mourning and our recovery'
Gabi says that "Avichai would have told Shira Emuna and me – continue to do for the people of Israel. He wouldn’t have said, 'I did, I gave, I finished my inventory.' We are there contributing to the people of Israel. On a personal level, I feel I receive much more than I give. The very fact that I do a lot, am busy a lot, allows me to cope with the pain and feel the camaraderie of the people of Israel."
"I feel I managed to channel my pain into action for the greater good," says Shira Emuna. "The evil acts of October 7 were also done to weaken our spirit, and I took on a role whose essence is to strengthen the spirit for myself and for religious female soldiers who sometimes feel a bit isolated in the places where they serve and need this reinforcement."
A reminder of the historical significance: Both have embraced the role of uplifting the spirit – supporting soldiers, boosting morale and providing talks and materials on the importance each soldier holds in history.
"Beyond everything the Military Rabbinate does, including handling casualties, there's a whole branch dedicated to the fighting spirit," Gabi explains. "When we lift the spirits of the troops, it enhances our ability to cope in tough times, and with this strength, we will also reach Simchat Torah. Our main focus this past year has been nurturing the fighting spirit. Shira Emuna creates content for female soldiers, there are multimedia products, and we bring lecturers, artists and actors to the units to help elevate the soldiers' morale."
"The goal is to reach every soldier with our content," Gabi says. "We are focused on strengthening morale. You wouldn't believe how many soldiers desire and need this. We come during their limited free time and find the right moments for them, which is of tremendous importance."
"When soldiers are overwhelmed with continuous tasks, at some point it becomes exhausting," Shira Emuna says. "It's tiring. The sleeping conditions aren't always five-star hotel quality. When someone arrives and gives you a pamphlet, a page or even a file via WhatsApp, suddenly you are reminded that you're part of a historical process spanning thousands of years, known as the people of Israel. Everything you do gains perspective, especially for a religious female soldier who sometimes enlists alone, sometimes in combat roles where there aren't many others like her. I create content for them to give them the spirit they need."
She continues: "My writing draws inspiration from Jewish women throughout history. For Hanukkah, we wrote about Hannah and her seven sons, and for Purim about Esther. These are stories of heroism that were often behind the scenes until they succeeded. The writing can speak to a religious girl who may be alone on base."
"When I'm in the field," Gabi adds, "I also see non-religious female soldiers who engage with Shira Emuna's content, and it resonates with them, and they connect to it."
They are now preparing for the anniversary of Avichai's death, carrying mixed emotions from the past year. "My message is that we need to strengthen unity and togetherness within the people of Israel," Gabi states. "In the army, we create unity among soldiers, and it's important that we also connect all types of populations in the nation. Connection, embraces and closeness are crucial, and we hope it reaches all of Israel. There are disagreements, but they will diminish, and unity will prevail."
"I believe everyone has a responsibility for connection and unity in the nation," Shira Emuna says. "The home front and the frontlines are two sides of the same coin. A strong home front empowers the frontlines."
The holiday season brings significant difficulty and complexity. "The annual memorial for Avichai will be two days after Simchat Torah. On that holiday, he was called up from home, leaving behind a pregnant wife and two daughters," Gabi recalls. "On Simchat Torah, we'll feel it was the day he left home. Will I dance with a Torah scroll in the synagogue, or will I lack the strength? I don't know."