I came across an ad inviting women to a therapeutic group involving pole dancing. What does that mean?
"I've designed a therapeutic program combining pole dancing with group discussions, focusing on body image, femininity and sexuality," explained Michali Aspis, 32, a clinical social worker, cognitive-behavioral psychotherapist and certified pole dance instructor. Married and a mother of two, she lives in Haifa.
"The pole, due to its stigmas and cheap sexual connotations, confronts women directly, forcing them to deal with many aspects of their sexuality immediately. The room itself is full of mirrors, leading women to undergo a kind of exposure therapy — suddenly seeing their entire bodies in minimal clothing, something many avoid by only looking at their faces in the mirror."
Why is minimal clothing necessary for pole dancing?
"First, our skin is one of the points of contact with the pole — meaning that to stabilize ourselves, we use our form. Additionally, it allows women to view their entire bodies in the mirror.
"In principle, someone could decide it doesn't suit her and remain clothed but this offers a genuine opportunity to experiment in a safe, judgment-free environment full of acceptance and love. It’s about exposing oneself emotionally and physically."
What issues do women address in these workshops?
"One woman might work on childhood sexual trauma, another may deal with diminished sexuality due to motherhood. One is recovering from cancer and another was near the Gaza border on October 7 and seeks to cope with the trauma still lingering in her body. One of the aspects most severely impacted by PTSD is sexuality and it’s rarely addressed in therapy rooms because it’s seen as secondary to 'more important concerns.'"
You're a social worker. How did you come across this type of therapy?
"Over the years, I realized you can't separate the body from the mind. Many struggles manifest physically, especially in the context of sexuality and sometimes conversational therapy alone isn't enough to create the necessary change.
"Unfortunately, sexuality is taboo in our society. Even in therapy rooms, very few clients dare to touch on the subject. In the case of pole dancing, it’s front and center — you address it simply by working with it."
Is there another reason you chose the pole?
"Because I want to break the stigma around it. I think it’s time we redefine the pole and use it as a tool for women to reclaim their sexuality."
What does that mean?
"In our society, women are expected to use their sexuality to please their husbands and have children. Through work with the pole, I contradict that, saying a woman's sexuality is, first and foremost, her own.
"I believe the pole, given its history, is an excellent tool for reclaiming ownership of sexuality. It’s an element through which a woman simply enjoys her body. Abroad, pole work is already a recognized therapeutic field, with doctoral research being conducted on it. For example, there’s a feminist movement called S Factor that uses the pole as a tool for connection and female empowerment."
When did you start working with pole dancing?
"About seven or eight years ago. I reached a weight of 102 kilograms (225 lbs) and then lost 36 kilograms (79 lbs), rediscovering my sexual drive. Before losing weight, I met someone who attended a pole dance class and I told myself that one day, when I slimmed down, I’d try it too.
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“Today, I know I was completely wrong and denied myself self-expression because of something external like weight. You can work with the pole at any body size."
What responses do you get about this therapy?
"It’s a real game-changer. Women share that their sexual self-esteem has improved, they’ve gained more freedom in their sexual functioning, they feel more connected to their bodies and their sense of self has strengthened."