The long-awaited moment has finally arrived! Your dream vacation, the one you've been yearning for, is about to take off. Whether you're a seasoned traveler or it's been ages since your last flight, you know the journey itself can be a daunting experience, bordering on a never-ending nightmare. Picture this: hundreds of people crammed together in a metal tube for hours on end, all yearning to reach that exotic destination at the end of the grueling voyage.
You probably didn't factor in the inconsolable baby, the inevitable delays, or the restless children threatening to disrupt your peace. But fear not! With countless hours spent in the air and my experience as a seasoned flight attendant, I've compiled the ultimate guide to ensure you board that flight without losing your marbles.
A 60-minute layover simply won't do
Oh, the wonders of air travel in the post-pandemic era! Flight delays have become as common as finding a rogue sock in the dryer, especially during the summer rush and holiday seasons. Navigating those colossal airports is like attempting a marathon while juggling flaming torches – there's simply no time to disembark, sprint through the terminal and catch your next flight. So, let's be real, a measly hour between flights just won't cut it. When you're booking your flights, opt for those glorious direct ones that spare you the hassle of layovers. Trust me, the few extra bucks are worth avoiding the heartache of a missed connection.
But hey, sometimes you're left with no choice but to face the dreaded layover. Fear not! Allocate a generous two-hour to three-hour buffer to ensure you saunter onto your next flight with time to spare. Oh, and don't forget about the return journey! Some airports have an extra security check for those bound for Israel, which means endless lines and a test of your patience. By the way, if you book separate flights with the same airline, your luggage magically transfers between planes like a VIP concierge service.
How to assign your own seat and live to tell the tale
Ah, the delicate art of choosing your throne in the sky! Not all flights grant you the luxury of selecting your seat without shelling out some extra dough. That said, it's not an inconsiderable decision to make. If you find yourself in economy class, be aware that the seats ahead of the emergency exit won't grant you the luxury of reclining your precious seat (all for safety reasons, of course).
And oh, in those sacred seats, including the coveted exit row, you must bid farewell to storing your treasures under the seat in front of you during takeoff and landing – they must ascend to the overhead compartments. There are options, though. You can nicely request a seat change. Just remember, my friend, engaging in a heated debate with the flight attendants won't get you very far. They've got a paramount mission of ensuring your safety during those exhilarating liftoffs and smooth landings, and you do NOT want to be on YouTube and TikTok for the wrong reasons.
Now, if you decided to splurge on the front-row extravaganza with all that extra legroom, brace yourself for a surprise companion – the occasional baby crib. Choose your seat wisely, aligning with your preferences and needs, but don't rely on the flight attendants to be your seat-swapping wizards at the eleventh hour. If the flight is bursting at the seams, they may not have the power to grant your wish.
What to carry with you on the plane
The onboard temperature is regulated by the diligent flight attendants and pilots, who operate the central air conditioning system. As for attire, prioritize comfort and opt for clothing that allows ease of movement. Dressing in layers is advisable, enabling you to adapt to changing temperatures during the flight. Should the weather turn hot, you can switch to lighter garments, while colder conditions warrant adding layers for warmth.
On non-transatlantic flights, it's important to note that blankets and pillows may not be readily available on every seat, and their quantity could be limited. To ensure your comfort, plan ahead by either requesting a pillow and blanket from the flight attendants during boarding or bringing along your own travel pillow.
You know how they say that it's the little things that matter? Well, nothing is "littler" than ear plugs, and that small item that could mean the difference sound sleep and the all encompassing desire to strangle a baby. Also, a sleep mask could be quite beneficial if you're one of those people who can't fall asleep until your surroundings are completely dark.
As for electronics, none of us would be caught dead without our phones, but we often forget earbuds, tablets and peripheral products and then go postal when we realize it and it's too late.
If you opt to bring a carry-on trolley, it's wise to pack a spare set of clothes in case your checked luggage doesn't arrive at your destination with you. For added convenience, consider carrying an empty bottle to fill with water during the flight, along with wet wipes for refreshment. Additionally, having a pair of flip flops on hand can offer comfort during the journey. However, it's essential to refrain from removing your socks and walking barefoot on the plane, as it's one of the least sterile environments.
Pack a sandwich: Airline food sucks
Yes, we've all seen those YouTube videos of gourmet meals on planes, but this isn't Singapore Airlines and you're not flying first class. (Unless you are, in which case - cool...)
As you embark on your journey, which can span several hours, it's important to consider bringing snacks that will not only provide sustenance but also be a delightful treat during moments of hunger. These snacks can save you from the exorbitant prices of in-flight meals.
However, it's crucial to note that consuming alcohol purchased at duty-free is not permitted on the plane, and it's generally advisable to exercise moderation. Instead, you can enjoy the alcoholic beverages served or available for purchase on the flight. Keep in mind that at an altitude of 30,000, the effects of alcohol can be more pronounced.
Some tips to help you be the flight attendant's favorite
Refrain from bringing your entire life with you – Remember to stow your bags in the overhead compartments, as the storage compartment above your seat may not be available to you. It's a first-come, first-served situation. Flight attendants are not responsible for storing all of your belongings. If your bags and belongings don't fit under the seat, you may need to check some items into the plane's cargo hold. Plan accordingly to ensure a smooth and hassle-free experience.
Avoid changing diapers in an undesignated spot – We understand that waiting in line for the restroom can be tiresome, but it's important to be considerate of others during your flight. Avoid changing diapers on seats, even if they are unoccupied. Show respect for your fellow passengers and those who will occupy the seat afterward by utilizing the designated areas for such tasks. Remember, this applies to all situations, including minor accidents. Let's maintain a pleasant and comfortable environment for everyone on board.
Only call the flight attendant when absolutely necessary – Flight attendants play a vital role in ensuring the safety and comfort of all passengers on board. While they are there to assist you, it's important to be mindful of their limited availability, especially during critical moments. If you have non-urgent requests, consider accessing the available amenities, such as the onboard kitchen, to fulfill your needs. You pressed the button anyway? Fine, but make your requests concise and neat. Trust me, the flight crew is dealing with a lot as it is.
Stay seated until the plane actually stops – Where are you running off to? Opening the aircraft door during a flight is strictly prohibited for safety reasons. The cabin crew ensures that the doors remain securely closed throughout the duration of the flight. Additionally, it's important to exercise caution when moving around the cabin while the plane is in motion to avoid any potential accidents or injuries. Remember to follow the crew's instructions and remain seated with your seatbelt fastened when the "Fasten Seatbelt" sign is illuminated.
For the love of God, be patient! – While the journey may test your patience, it's important to remember that everyone onboard is likely facing their own set of challenges. That screaming baby? Spare a thought for the overwhelmed mother. The flight delay? Someone out there is anxiously hoping to make it in time for a special occasion. So, pack a little extra patience and compassion in your carry-on, for a few more hours of resilience will reward you with a vacation that's bound to be a world away from the stresses of the journey.